C.S. Lewis once wisely wrote, "Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again."
For many, I hope this to be true. As for me, I never grew out of them in the first place, and I hope I never will. I pity the one who has. I pity the one who can no longer find joy in magic carpet rides, daring sword fights, or a “street rat” rising above his low circumstances, slaying the enemy, and sweeping a beautiful, though stubborn, princess off her feet. I would rather spend hours amidst the story of an average sane man fighting against a mad and dangerous world than be trapped inside the mind of the modern mad protagonist, aimlessly fighting to destroy the sane world in which he lives. There may be no magic carpet ride in the real world. There may be no knight in shining armor. There may be no prince who comes to sweep me off my feet. But in reality, I am still part of a grand story. There is still a Savior. There are still dragons to slay. There is still the joy of being loved and loving in return, and the hope that good will in the end prevail over evil.
One of my favorite stories (at least the Disney story, anyways) has always been “Beauty and the Beast.” It is partly, of course, because I relate so much to Belle. A single woman living with her father. Strong and stubborn on the outside, but gentle and yes, even a little insecure on the inside. Her nose always in a book, her heart always in awe. A misfit, a nerd, and slightly awkward, she doesn’t quite fit in with the world around her. But she doesn’t mind. She is content. She knows that it is better for her to be set apart and ready to embark on the adventure of a higher calling than to live like the rest of the world. Her heart soars, but her life remains grounded for a time. She longs to be loved, yet the men she encounters are not the kind she has particularly dreamed of, for they either seek her only to gratify themselves, like Gaston, or overlook her entirely because she is so different. So she resolves to simply go on with her life. She knows it is far better to wait than to settle for he who is nearest, especially if he who is nearest finds her to be of little worth. So she waits, so she remains content, so she dreams of adventure, and when the time is right…she dives in wholeheartedly.
The love story that unfolds is far greater than any other fairy tale in comparison, for it is exactly what we wouldn’t expect. Our hero is no handsome prince, at least not anymore. He is instead ugly, inside and out. Our hearts initially tell us there is nothing to love about this violent and angry beast, yet as the story unfolds we are taught an important lesson…that a thing must first be loved in order for it to become lovable. It is not that he is in and of himself unlovable, it is simply that we did not make the effort to love him in the first place. But Belle does what we often don’t do to the hideous, ugly, and mean in our lives: she loves, and she loves knowing she has little, if anything at all, to gain from it. As far as she knows, she is trapped in a castle with this beast for all eternity. Like many women often do, she could have hardened her heart or perhaps become passive and aloof, yet instead she casts off all worry about her difficult circumstances and instead pursues the good of a creature who seems to have no good in him. She speaks kind words, makes kind gestures, and rather than hiding her own shortcomings, seeks reconciliation when she has offended. Her love awakens his heart, and in knowing this love he begins to change, for his greatest desire is to no longer serve only himself, but to know the bearer of this love more deeply, and to love the giver of it in return. In the end he gives up his very life for her, and all hope seems lost. Her life has been spared, but their relationship is now severed, torn apart by the sting of death. And it is not heroics that save them in the end as one would expect, but rather the vulnerability and humility of their hearts, for it is but a single tear that restores the beast to life, and to life as it was intended to be, no longer marred by an animal body and soul. They become united in love THROUGH love, and that alone is why I will never be too old to love fairy tales.
There is a reason my soul longs for fairy tales. There is a reason I am filled with awe every time I read them, and there is a reason I believe them to be far more grounded in reality than most realize. Many see only a prince rescuing a princess and a happily ever after. They pay little attention to the presence of good and evil, the battle that ensues, and the promise of hard and difficult trials ahead. Some look ahead and conclude that because they have not yet seen a white knight or known a happily ever after, and instead know only the difficulty of trials, there is simply no such thing as a happily ever after. Yet in reality, the white knight and happily ever after have already come, and have yet to come again. For it is not simply a royal wedding that our human hearts desire, but rather to know the unconditional and enduring love that is so beautifully displayed in a fairy tale such as this. The deepest desire of my heart is not to know a prince and live in a castle, nor is it to know a beast and transform him into a prince, but rather to be loved and love in return as deeply as the characters of these stories do. It is the love that speaks to us far beyond the conditions, characters, and fantasy.
No, I will never be too old for fairy tales, because there is no such thing as being too old for fairy tales. If you truly grasp the message of the story, then you will realize that one is never too young nor too old to know and understand the love of God that is so plainly displayed in them. The love of God---This is why I am able to dwell on fairy tales and not end up disappointed at the fact that there is no knight in shining armor professing his love for me at my doorstep. Because it is not he who I ultimately long to be loved by and to know, it is the Most High King…and He already knows, loves, and pursues me…He has already sacrificed Himself for me, and He has done so knowing full well that in this story I call life, I am not the beauty. It is I who am the beast, and it is He who is making me beautiful.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Saying Goodbye to False Expectations...
I’ve been wondering what to write for weeks. I’ve wanted to share what I’ve discovered in the midst of my ponderings on marriage, and yet no matter how many times I sit down to write, I can’t find the words. I think the easiest thing for me to do at this point is to just copy word for word what I couldn’t have said any better myself. After all, what do I know about marriage? I don’t have a husband. I don’t even have a boyfriend. So instead of me pretending like I have all the answers, I’ll let someone else who does have some tell you. I’m going to be honest with you and just let you know that this isn’t easy to read. It’s brutally honest. It doesn’t hesitate to expose our sinful nature. And for me personally, it’s crushed my every expectation. I’ve read this over and over again and I feel as if I’ve been punched in the stomach, and now I’m left with more questions that when I began. But for now, I’ll just leave you with this: (Taken from here. I hope they don't mind...)
God's Primary Purpose For Marriage
Understanding God's purpose for marriage is of the utmost importance, because to marry and miss it is to enter into a life full of frustration and disappointment -- setting the stage for great marital unrest. Most of us tend to marry with very romanticized ideas of what marriage is going to be. With great excitement we anticipate the relationship that will finally meet our romantic and emotional needs. God's primary intention for marriage however, is not what most of us imagine it to be. He has not designed marriage as a place where we can finally try to get our needs met. He has created it as something much better -- something far more grand than that. God intends to use marriage to accomplish a very important goal -- one that is His primary goal for all Christians. God's primary purpose for marriage is to use it to help shape us into the image of His Son. If we miss out on this we are doomed to a life of anxiety and frustration.
Yes, marriage is God's arrangement for lifetime companionship and the arena for our sexual expression, but like with all that He has created, God uses marriage to direct us towards Himself. The challenges offered in marriage He capitalizes on to help shape and mold us into the image of Jesus. To evaluate our personal success in a marriage we must not then look to see if our needs are being met, but we must ask ourselves, "Am I demonstrating the image and character of Jesus Christ?." We determine our success by how much we are becoming like Christ -- loving and honoring our spouse according to the specific roles God has laid out for us in the Scriptures. Far wiser than us, God knows that as we grow into the image of Jesus our greatest needs are met.
Sadly, most of us have been under that false notion that God means for our mate to meet all of our romantic and emotional needs. We marry, fully intending to have our spouse be all that we ever wanted in a mate. Shortly after the wedding though, we begin to think that our new partner has a lot of changing to do. In fact, it appears they are far from being able to fully meet our needs. Instead of being fully committed to our idea of what a marriage is all about, they entered in with their own ideas of what marriage is to be -- along with their own list of needs they expect us to meet.
The most successful marriages
A study of marriage in history reveals that long-lasting marriages are generally those which are more "role" oriented than "romance" oriented. That is, those Christian couples who marry with a clear understanding of their biblical roles, and have as their primary purpose to carry them out, are generally happier in marriage than those who marry in order to get their needs met. Considering that 20th century America places such emphasis on building marriages on the right romantic "chemistry," it should be no surprise that many are easily disappointed in their marriages. What we have come to believe to be right romantic "chemistry" is actually nothing more than "self-centered" love. Most people are romantically drawn to those who gratify them, so marry with expectations of being fulfilled by their mate. That type of love is not true selfless love, but is self-centered, basing its attraction on personal gratification. It says, "I love you for what you do for me. I am drawn to you for how you make me feel. I know I am in love with you, because I need you so much." Needing someone is not evidence of a selfless, giving love for them -- contrarily, it is evidence that you want them for the emotional fulfillment you will receive from them. It is a reasonable estimate to suggest that 98% of all Christian marriages today are based on this dangerous form of self-serving love. Is it a surprise that so many are unhappy in marriage?
Men and women are different in their unique expressions of self-centered love for each other. A woman frequently marries looking for fulfillment in her relationship with her husband. Her husband, on the other hand, marries looking for fulfillment outside the marriage in his job or in a hobby. In a normal marriage we find a wife trying to get her needs met in her husband and a husband wanting his wife to be with him while he gets his needs met outside the home. Wives tend to want relationship. Husbands tend to want companionship. God, knowing this, puts these two together with the intent that overcoming their differences will help make them more like His Son. He wants neither one to try to get their "needs" met in the other. He put them in the relationship to learn to be givers not takers. God knows that that is our greatest inner need.
One problem in understanding the truth of this is that the wife's needs do sound more noble than her husband's, since she puts so much emphasis on the relationship. Yet God has not called us to commit to a relationship (or even to get anything out of a relationship). He has called us to commit to a person. There is a big difference between loving a person and loving a relationship. A genuine loving commitment to a person requires selflessness -- your goal being to give and get nothing back (1 Cor 13:5). Loving a relationship, on the other hand, feeds selfishness, because it is committing yourself to something you will benefit from. It is an investment in yourself. Impatience, anger, and frustration will flourish in a relationship where the relationship itself is valued more than the other person it involves. Giving to get is never consistently satisfying.
If we are ever to find joy in our marriage we must never lose sight of God's goal for us -- complete selflessness. For only in that kind of submission to God is there joy. Only when we are truly submitting to God and honoring our mate the way He has commanded will we find fulfillment. As the designer of the marriage relationship He knows that our obedience will fulfill far deeper needs in us than any we thought we had. For with that obedience not only do we have the peace that comes from knowing we are right with God, but our spouse thrives on the character of Jesus reflected in our actions and they become a better partner -- making the marriage a more pleasant place to be.
We can learn something about this from the account of Adam and Eve. They were two individuals who thought they knew what their needs were and what it would take to make them happy. Their desires though, when achieved, brought little more than a sweet taste in their mouths. They settled for less, and in doing so, alienated themselves from God and brought a great deal of pain to following generations. What a price to pay for such fleeting happiness! Had they abided by God's perfect plans they would have been able to enjoy real fulfillment.
Like Adam and Eve many of us think that it is possible to achieve happiness by doing that which is appealing to the flesh. We are tempted to believe that if only we can get our spouse to pay the right kind of attention to us or to stop "hassling" us we will be happy. Because that is not God's way though, we can be sure that no matter what we obtain we will never be satisfied. It will be a never-ending, highly stressful search.
Marital difficulties make us more like Jesus.
Those who welcome the difficulties of marriage, become more like Jesus. Those who bail out of marriage, or quietly wish theirs would end, miss the spiritual benefits of enduring trials. Learning to endure trials makes one more holy. Jesus himself was made perfect (mature or complete) through his suffering. Consider:
In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering. Hebrews 2:10
Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered Hebrews 5:8
Through trials believers are shaped into the image of Christ.
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5
This third I will bring into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.'" Zech 13:9
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:6-7
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4
Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. 1 Pet 4:1
"Endure hardship as discipline; . . . God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness, . . . it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:7,10,11
God's primary goal for His people is for them to be conformed into the image of Christ. He therefore uses difficulties and challenges to refine our character and strengthen our faith. Without discipline and challenge an athlete never grows stronger or more skilled. Without testing through suffering, a Christian will never grow strong in Christ. Growth, both natural and spiritual, comes only through challenge.
Following Christ means the laying aside of our plans and goals and the adoption of God's. Therefore, if we share God's goal, and wish to become like Christ, then we can rejoice when we encounter the opportunities for growth afforded by suffering. Having a joyful response however, requires that we actually do share Christ's goals for our life. If we are pursuing a trouble-free, happy marriage we will avoid and resist opportunities for suffering, but if we share God's values and crave godliness, we will genuinely find joy in our difficulties.
Many want to avoid the challenge of marriage, because they mistakenly believe that God’s ultimate goal for them is "happiness." They perhaps, made a decision to follow Christ originally because someone told them that if they added Christ to their life he would make things “go better.” They came to Christ for “happiness.” They married to be "happy." They were defrauded. God desires for his people joy, not happiness.
Joy comes from trust in God's love and sovereignty -- it is an inner peace not connected to circumstance (Phil 4:4-9). Happiness is nothing more than feelings of well-being based on happenstance -- it is conditioned completely on what happens or how things go. Like Christ, who was called the "Man of Sorrows" (Isaiah 53:3), those Christians in God's will, find themselves in many unpleasant and unhappy hardships, even in a challenging or difficult marriage. They will however, have great joy if they trust God is in control of the trial, that He is using it to strengthen their faith, and that He will not give them more than they can handle.
Those Christians who forsake their wedding vows and abandon their mates, often justify their action by declaring that God wants them to be happy, and separation is the only thing which will bring them happiness. The error of this type of thinking should be obvious. God wants for us not happiness, but the joy which results from godliness. We grow in godliness by selflessly loving others in the midst of adversity. Leaving an unhappy marriage only shows we didn't allow the trial to drive us to Christ.
Thinking we understand God's plan, some of us also sell ourselves short. We may grasp the need to stick with our marriage, so we do just that. We hang in there. We may even feel we are doing well to handle our mate's disagreeableness, but the truth is that God has not called us to simply "hang in there" or tolerate our husband or wife. The command is not, "Husbands tolerate your wife as Christ tolerates the Church." God's goal is not for us to put up with our mate, but for us to be uncompromisingly devoted to them, seeking to get back nothing in return. There is a world of difference between toleration and commitment -- the one is self-protective and the other is self-sacrificing. One makes us a self-concerned, cautious observer and the other a devoted participant.
What about those for whom it does not work?
There are those who believe that they have tried it God's way and yet feel it did not work. That would, of course, be impossible. If something God designed hasn't worked for us, the problem lies in our approach not with God's design. God is perfect and nothing He does or creates is flawed. In fact, his plans for marriage are not simply OK -- they are wonderful and incredibly brilliant! As we whole-heartedly submit ourselves to God and comply with His master-plan we can be sure our lives will be blessed. If we rest in His perfection and wisdom we can know that obedience to Him will bear good fruit. If we have not found fulfillment in "trying" it God's way, we need to realize that we weren't doing it right. It could very well be that we were hindered in succeeding, because we were doing something to give the devil a foothold in our life. We most probably have been the source of our own failure.
The fact is, we must obey God not because we want to make our spouse change, or because the trial will go away, but because God has spoken. The very fact we make the statement, "I tried that and it didn't work," indicates that we didn't obey God with a pure heart -- our motives were self-serving -- we were obeying in order to get a result. As followers of Jesus, we don't give obedience to God a "try," or follow biblical principles so that we will be blessed -- we obey Christ because He is the Lord.
May all who read these words be willing to trust God and do what is right. Amen!
Addendum
Lest the reader think that God has no interest in romance, it is important to remember that God was the original inventor of romantic love, and in fact, devoted the entire book of Song of Solomon to the subject. (Many even construe that book to be a metaphor of Christ's love for the Church.) Let none be confused -- God does desire his people to enjoy romance in marriage. However, those who enter into marriage with the intention of finding perfect romantic fulfillment, have entered it with self-centered motives and will therefore find great disappointment. The best romantic love is fostered in a marriage in which both partners have served one another selflessly. Their love has grown, because they have been won by the other's devotion. May we all foster great romantic love in our marriages by our selfless service to our mates.
I'd like to know your thoughts on all this. Do you agree or disagree? Was it as hard for you to take to heart as it was for me? If you're married, do you find this to be true? If you're not married, have your expectations changed? Are you disappointed at all? Or perhaps you feel as if a burden has been lifted? What's going through your head and heart?
God's Primary Purpose For Marriage
Understanding God's purpose for marriage is of the utmost importance, because to marry and miss it is to enter into a life full of frustration and disappointment -- setting the stage for great marital unrest. Most of us tend to marry with very romanticized ideas of what marriage is going to be. With great excitement we anticipate the relationship that will finally meet our romantic and emotional needs. God's primary intention for marriage however, is not what most of us imagine it to be. He has not designed marriage as a place where we can finally try to get our needs met. He has created it as something much better -- something far more grand than that. God intends to use marriage to accomplish a very important goal -- one that is His primary goal for all Christians. God's primary purpose for marriage is to use it to help shape us into the image of His Son. If we miss out on this we are doomed to a life of anxiety and frustration.
Yes, marriage is God's arrangement for lifetime companionship and the arena for our sexual expression, but like with all that He has created, God uses marriage to direct us towards Himself. The challenges offered in marriage He capitalizes on to help shape and mold us into the image of Jesus. To evaluate our personal success in a marriage we must not then look to see if our needs are being met, but we must ask ourselves, "Am I demonstrating the image and character of Jesus Christ?." We determine our success by how much we are becoming like Christ -- loving and honoring our spouse according to the specific roles God has laid out for us in the Scriptures. Far wiser than us, God knows that as we grow into the image of Jesus our greatest needs are met.
Sadly, most of us have been under that false notion that God means for our mate to meet all of our romantic and emotional needs. We marry, fully intending to have our spouse be all that we ever wanted in a mate. Shortly after the wedding though, we begin to think that our new partner has a lot of changing to do. In fact, it appears they are far from being able to fully meet our needs. Instead of being fully committed to our idea of what a marriage is all about, they entered in with their own ideas of what marriage is to be -- along with their own list of needs they expect us to meet.
The most successful marriages
A study of marriage in history reveals that long-lasting marriages are generally those which are more "role" oriented than "romance" oriented. That is, those Christian couples who marry with a clear understanding of their biblical roles, and have as their primary purpose to carry them out, are generally happier in marriage than those who marry in order to get their needs met. Considering that 20th century America places such emphasis on building marriages on the right romantic "chemistry," it should be no surprise that many are easily disappointed in their marriages. What we have come to believe to be right romantic "chemistry" is actually nothing more than "self-centered" love. Most people are romantically drawn to those who gratify them, so marry with expectations of being fulfilled by their mate. That type of love is not true selfless love, but is self-centered, basing its attraction on personal gratification. It says, "I love you for what you do for me. I am drawn to you for how you make me feel. I know I am in love with you, because I need you so much." Needing someone is not evidence of a selfless, giving love for them -- contrarily, it is evidence that you want them for the emotional fulfillment you will receive from them. It is a reasonable estimate to suggest that 98% of all Christian marriages today are based on this dangerous form of self-serving love. Is it a surprise that so many are unhappy in marriage?
Men and women are different in their unique expressions of self-centered love for each other. A woman frequently marries looking for fulfillment in her relationship with her husband. Her husband, on the other hand, marries looking for fulfillment outside the marriage in his job or in a hobby. In a normal marriage we find a wife trying to get her needs met in her husband and a husband wanting his wife to be with him while he gets his needs met outside the home. Wives tend to want relationship. Husbands tend to want companionship. God, knowing this, puts these two together with the intent that overcoming their differences will help make them more like His Son. He wants neither one to try to get their "needs" met in the other. He put them in the relationship to learn to be givers not takers. God knows that that is our greatest inner need.
One problem in understanding the truth of this is that the wife's needs do sound more noble than her husband's, since she puts so much emphasis on the relationship. Yet God has not called us to commit to a relationship (or even to get anything out of a relationship). He has called us to commit to a person. There is a big difference between loving a person and loving a relationship. A genuine loving commitment to a person requires selflessness -- your goal being to give and get nothing back (1 Cor 13:5). Loving a relationship, on the other hand, feeds selfishness, because it is committing yourself to something you will benefit from. It is an investment in yourself. Impatience, anger, and frustration will flourish in a relationship where the relationship itself is valued more than the other person it involves. Giving to get is never consistently satisfying.
If we are ever to find joy in our marriage we must never lose sight of God's goal for us -- complete selflessness. For only in that kind of submission to God is there joy. Only when we are truly submitting to God and honoring our mate the way He has commanded will we find fulfillment. As the designer of the marriage relationship He knows that our obedience will fulfill far deeper needs in us than any we thought we had. For with that obedience not only do we have the peace that comes from knowing we are right with God, but our spouse thrives on the character of Jesus reflected in our actions and they become a better partner -- making the marriage a more pleasant place to be.
We can learn something about this from the account of Adam and Eve. They were two individuals who thought they knew what their needs were and what it would take to make them happy. Their desires though, when achieved, brought little more than a sweet taste in their mouths. They settled for less, and in doing so, alienated themselves from God and brought a great deal of pain to following generations. What a price to pay for such fleeting happiness! Had they abided by God's perfect plans they would have been able to enjoy real fulfillment.
Like Adam and Eve many of us think that it is possible to achieve happiness by doing that which is appealing to the flesh. We are tempted to believe that if only we can get our spouse to pay the right kind of attention to us or to stop "hassling" us we will be happy. Because that is not God's way though, we can be sure that no matter what we obtain we will never be satisfied. It will be a never-ending, highly stressful search.
Marital difficulties make us more like Jesus.
Those who welcome the difficulties of marriage, become more like Jesus. Those who bail out of marriage, or quietly wish theirs would end, miss the spiritual benefits of enduring trials. Learning to endure trials makes one more holy. Jesus himself was made perfect (mature or complete) through his suffering. Consider:
In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering. Hebrews 2:10
Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered Hebrews 5:8
Through trials believers are shaped into the image of Christ.
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5
This third I will bring into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.'" Zech 13:9
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire -- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:6-7
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4
Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. 1 Pet 4:1
"Endure hardship as discipline; . . . God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness, . . . it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:7,10,11
God's primary goal for His people is for them to be conformed into the image of Christ. He therefore uses difficulties and challenges to refine our character and strengthen our faith. Without discipline and challenge an athlete never grows stronger or more skilled. Without testing through suffering, a Christian will never grow strong in Christ. Growth, both natural and spiritual, comes only through challenge.
Following Christ means the laying aside of our plans and goals and the adoption of God's. Therefore, if we share God's goal, and wish to become like Christ, then we can rejoice when we encounter the opportunities for growth afforded by suffering. Having a joyful response however, requires that we actually do share Christ's goals for our life. If we are pursuing a trouble-free, happy marriage we will avoid and resist opportunities for suffering, but if we share God's values and crave godliness, we will genuinely find joy in our difficulties.
Many want to avoid the challenge of marriage, because they mistakenly believe that God’s ultimate goal for them is "happiness." They perhaps, made a decision to follow Christ originally because someone told them that if they added Christ to their life he would make things “go better.” They came to Christ for “happiness.” They married to be "happy." They were defrauded. God desires for his people joy, not happiness.
Joy comes from trust in God's love and sovereignty -- it is an inner peace not connected to circumstance (Phil 4:4-9). Happiness is nothing more than feelings of well-being based on happenstance -- it is conditioned completely on what happens or how things go. Like Christ, who was called the "Man of Sorrows" (Isaiah 53:3), those Christians in God's will, find themselves in many unpleasant and unhappy hardships, even in a challenging or difficult marriage. They will however, have great joy if they trust God is in control of the trial, that He is using it to strengthen their faith, and that He will not give them more than they can handle.
Those Christians who forsake their wedding vows and abandon their mates, often justify their action by declaring that God wants them to be happy, and separation is the only thing which will bring them happiness. The error of this type of thinking should be obvious. God wants for us not happiness, but the joy which results from godliness. We grow in godliness by selflessly loving others in the midst of adversity. Leaving an unhappy marriage only shows we didn't allow the trial to drive us to Christ.
Thinking we understand God's plan, some of us also sell ourselves short. We may grasp the need to stick with our marriage, so we do just that. We hang in there. We may even feel we are doing well to handle our mate's disagreeableness, but the truth is that God has not called us to simply "hang in there" or tolerate our husband or wife. The command is not, "Husbands tolerate your wife as Christ tolerates the Church." God's goal is not for us to put up with our mate, but for us to be uncompromisingly devoted to them, seeking to get back nothing in return. There is a world of difference between toleration and commitment -- the one is self-protective and the other is self-sacrificing. One makes us a self-concerned, cautious observer and the other a devoted participant.
What about those for whom it does not work?
There are those who believe that they have tried it God's way and yet feel it did not work. That would, of course, be impossible. If something God designed hasn't worked for us, the problem lies in our approach not with God's design. God is perfect and nothing He does or creates is flawed. In fact, his plans for marriage are not simply OK -- they are wonderful and incredibly brilliant! As we whole-heartedly submit ourselves to God and comply with His master-plan we can be sure our lives will be blessed. If we rest in His perfection and wisdom we can know that obedience to Him will bear good fruit. If we have not found fulfillment in "trying" it God's way, we need to realize that we weren't doing it right. It could very well be that we were hindered in succeeding, because we were doing something to give the devil a foothold in our life. We most probably have been the source of our own failure.
The fact is, we must obey God not because we want to make our spouse change, or because the trial will go away, but because God has spoken. The very fact we make the statement, "I tried that and it didn't work," indicates that we didn't obey God with a pure heart -- our motives were self-serving -- we were obeying in order to get a result. As followers of Jesus, we don't give obedience to God a "try," or follow biblical principles so that we will be blessed -- we obey Christ because He is the Lord.
May all who read these words be willing to trust God and do what is right. Amen!
Addendum
Lest the reader think that God has no interest in romance, it is important to remember that God was the original inventor of romantic love, and in fact, devoted the entire book of Song of Solomon to the subject. (Many even construe that book to be a metaphor of Christ's love for the Church.) Let none be confused -- God does desire his people to enjoy romance in marriage. However, those who enter into marriage with the intention of finding perfect romantic fulfillment, have entered it with self-centered motives and will therefore find great disappointment. The best romantic love is fostered in a marriage in which both partners have served one another selflessly. Their love has grown, because they have been won by the other's devotion. May we all foster great romantic love in our marriages by our selfless service to our mates.
I'd like to know your thoughts on all this. Do you agree or disagree? Was it as hard for you to take to heart as it was for me? If you're married, do you find this to be true? If you're not married, have your expectations changed? Are you disappointed at all? Or perhaps you feel as if a burden has been lifted? What's going through your head and heart?
Friday, June 10, 2011
Mawwiage...Is What Bwings Us Togethaaaa...Today.
I’ve read my fair share of dating books. An embarrassing fact, but a true one nonetheless. I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Date Or Soul Mate. Your Knight In Shining Armor: Discovering Your Lifelong Love. Passion And Purity. When God Writes Your Love Story. Boundaries In Dating. Lady In Waiting. Marriable. For Women Only. And The Bride Wore White. Annndddd….unfortunately, the list goes on. (Please, for the sake of my dignity, realize that these have all been read over a ten year time span.) The saddest part about all this is not that I have read all of these and still remain unmarried, but that I ever had to turn to a book at all to a) know what the ideal I was to aim for should be and to b) have a godly example to follow. Looking back, I can’t help but ask where all the adults were in my life to explain these things. Was I supposed to magically know how to go about dating in a biblical way? Was I supposed to somehow know what a good marriage is supposed to be like despite the fact that my own parents’ marriage, along with countless others around me, dissolved right before my eyes? How could I have known if nobody told me? Why didn’t anybody ever sit me down and just talk with me about these things? I can honestly say that the majority of what I learned about dating, sex, and marriage as a teenager and young adult was learned from television, school, friends, books (Thankfully, the Bible was one of them!), and observation. Not from my parents. Not from my pastors. Not from family members. Not from a mentor of any sort. But mostly from culture. I don’t know if any of you have ever noticed the state of our culture, but this isn’t exactly the best place to get advice from. Truly, I can’t even tell the difference between MTV and Animal Planet anymore, and yet these are the very entities that we are allowing to infiltrate the minds of our young people and teach them what is right from what is wrong, what is true from what is a lie. Television is the very LAST thing that any young person should have to turn to to learn about topics as vastly important as dating, sex, marriage, and family. And yet, it IS where they’re learning about it. And that wouldn’t be so bad if an adult in their life were teaching them what is true from what is a lie, how things are meant to be and how they are not meant to be, and why God’s word and His way is better than the alternative at all. But the sad truth is that they aren’t. No one is taking the time to get to know these young people and no one is making the effort to speak the truth in love, and they are utterly and completely lost as a result.
How do I know this is so? Because I see it in the church. I see it in the schools. I see it in my own friends and family. I see it in myself. From the time we were born, we have most likely been taught not to question. We are taught that this is the way things are, and they are that way because someone says they are. You can ask how, when, where, and who, but don’t you dare ask why. Kid: Why should I clean my room? Parent: Because I said so. Kid: Why does 2 + 2 = 4? Teacher: Because it just does. Kid: Why is stealing wrong? Pastor: Because the Bible says so.
“Why” is a dangerous question. It requires us to think deeply, it requires us to search for answers, and most of all it requires the person we ask to reveal themselves. It requires them to either admit their ignorance, to admit their motives, or to actually take the time to seek and teach understanding. Few are willing to do any of these, including ourselves, and because of this, many of us are left mindlessly pursuing ideals without even knowing the very foundation on which they are built. Just the other day I was discussing marriage with a friend. He was talking about how he had lost all hope in marriage. That he was coming to discover that all the people he thought had good marriages don’t. He wondered how he could possibly fare any better in marriage if even they are barely keeping it together. Upon further discussion, he revealed that he used to think he knew what the purpose of marriage is, but as it turns out he doesn’t. Then, as I attempted to explain what I thought it was, I realized that I barely knew either. How sad. I’ve read countless books on dating and marriage, and I have yet to read one that states plain and simply “This is why God created marriage. This is why it exists. This is why it is good.” Is it just me, or is it pathetic that so little of us even bother to ask such a question before we begin pursuing marriage, or in some cases give up on pursuing it?
So what, then, is the purpose of marriage? Why should I do it at all? Well, the beautiful thing about asking why in this case, is that I get to ask the one who created it, and when he reveals His reasons to me He also reveals Himself. He is the one person I can ask who is not ignorant, not lazy, and does not have impure motives. This is gonna be good. :) But before I post about what God’s purposes are (which will indeed be my next post), as He has revealed them to me thus far, I want to share with you what the world’s purposes are. I searched several forums that asked the same question and was greatly saddened that no one even remotely knew the answer. This is what the world had to say about what the purpose of marriage is:
“It’s been like this for ages and benefits men more than women.......back in the early days of marriage, men would come to villages and steal daughters and make them work on the fields for them, etc. Eventually, this was not tolerated by the fathers of these daughters and sometimes they would run away so it became more civilized.....they would have children so they had labor to work on their fields.
Familia in latin means slave. Did an anthro paper on this.....marriage has always benefitted men more than women.”
“Marriage is just a physical way to 'seal the deal.' It's just for couples to prove their devotion to one another in front of their country and in the eyes of God (depending on whether or not they are religious). The "physical" part of marriage is things like sharing family names and combined finances and assets. Many people may say that marriage is just a piece of paper but it does have a purpose. There is a reason why it is so important to so many people and cultures. The Homosexual society wouldn't be fighting so hard for the right to it if it was not important. Marriage isn't very regarded by people in the 21st century as much as it used to be. It just depends on the kind of person you are and whether you feel that is has a purpose. If a person believes that there is no purpose to marriage it just means that marriage is not a priority for them personally. Finding the purpose in marriage is up to you and your beliefs about love and relationships.”
“It's different for different people and for people in different roles. For me, personally, my marriage is about stating to friends, family, and the world, my commitment to my wife.
The church got involved with marriage a few centuries back as a way of getting more control over people. Governments followed suit as they separated more from the church. I recently read a theory that one of the benefits of marriage to a society is that it gives men a reason to succeed With a wife and kids at home, they're given a drive to get up every morning and go to work. They note that societies which have followed this pattern have advanced quickly where others have not. As you might imagine, some people get royally pissed off by this theory.”
“I really dont know !!!!!!!!!!!”
“The purpose of marriage is to completely fudge yourself over in life.”
“For 2 separate people, (Man & Women) to become 1 in Gods eyes. This way when you create children they are not Bastards. Before I get screamed at for saying that. Look it up. A Bastard is a Child born to a woman who is not Married.”
“Originally, to claim your woman and to make sure that no single guy gets a chance to have all the women and have them shared equally. Kinda like a socialist safety net, except with women counting as property. Then the feminists came and tried making it so that no one would own anyone. Since that failed, the only way to bring equality would be to make it so that the woman would simultaneously claim and own her man as he did her. So now both the man and the woman own each other, which is how equality works. Basically it’s a safety net so that no one ends up being all alone and has a sex partner here and there.”
“To ruin a man's life. People marry because they believe they are "in love" and it is the right thing to do. But look at the divorce rates, it is not love, it is lust and natural instinct to mate. Only true love is between a child and a parent, that is REAL and unconditional. Humans are mammals, we are meant to breed and move on, but society doesn't deem this appropriate.”
“It’s bullsh*t, marriage…I think people should be happy just living together and not having the whole wedding and husband thing...wish i knew that before i got married..but some cultures you cannot live with someone (hence why i got married)..but it’s over now and won't do it again :)”
“Marriage seals a relationship. Safeguards it and secures it. Marriage is very important if you wish to lead a healthy and a faithful life. Why? Because there would always be someone you would have by your side.”
“My guess would be to set up a secure environment for raising children. Plus it is also a rite of passage that sticks in the memories of all the family for decades to come.”
“Traditionally, so that men would have to provide for the children they fathered. Today, it makes no sense to me. I doubt I'll ever marry.”
“So you can be on health insurance plans? ...otherwise it is just a custom, you can live together your whole life and be just as happy, that little piece of paper just entitles you to certain things.”
“To be with the one u love forever, sharing special moments with them and having their company and love all the time. To start a family and begin a life together. Becoming one!”
“idk. happiness, family, home, kids.”
“The purpose of marriage is to bind one another together in love. To help each other perfect themselves and stay on the path that will lead them to the most happiness. However, I think the main purpose of marriage is to have children and raise them up in a loving environment and teach them correct principles and prepare them for the world of tomorrow to start the same cycle. This quest will be done no better than with man and woman working side by side. Women have qualities and roles that man cannot fill. Nor can women fill the qualities and roles that men have. Hense why it's important to have one of each, a man and a woman.”
“For sex.”
“It's different for different people. Some people just want the financial benefits of marriage (joint taxes, health insurance, living wills, etc) and some people want the feel of a "cohesive family unit" when they have kids.”
“Marriage has a number of purposes. The fundamental purpose is to encourage stable family building. Human beings, in their formative stages, respond best to a situation in which there are adult role-models of each gender demonstrating warmth and affection. Marriage is also a legal contract which obligates the two parties to share their material wealth and debts , to file joint income taxes and to provide for any offspring which may result. Marriage is also one of the rites of passage in most religious traditions; the others being birth, adulthood and death. These days, marriage has become primarily an excuse to throw a party, be the centre of attention and receive gifts.”
“Mental cruelty.”
“I think the purpose of marriage is to officialize what the two of you know or feel is a solid relationship. I personally don't think marriage is necessary.”
“I believe that the purpose of marriage is to reinforce the fact that a single person is entitled to all of your love, devotion, and protection. That this person is not only your best friend, but someone who can touch your life in a way that no other could. Someone you would want to be next to even if you could not walk or speak.”
“I will not say ‘Making Love each day and night’ coz this is not the purpose of love.
The true purpose is to fulfill our needs!!!”
“I believe in the Biblical meaning of marriage.
Matthew 19:4-6 states:
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
The passage above refers to Genesis 2:22-24
Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
And before anyone gets going on same-sex marriage, I believe that interdependent partners should all have the same legal rights (opposite-sex couples, same-sex couples, or interdependent relationships such as a person caring for an elderly parent).”
“Practically: Insurance. Superstitiously: Commitment.”
“I don't think anyone knows the answer to that!”
“Taxes? So it's ok with your church to have sex?
I guess some people want to formally say 'I love you', some one loves me. Some one loves me enough to spend money to buy me a clear rock and some yellow metal. Make themselves feel wanted. I don't know. I know that I expect my girlfriend to be faithful but we can do that without being married. Hey, I'm sorry. I'm being a hypocrite. I wear a ring.”
“To openly unify a man and woman in the eyes of god and the community.”
“To enslave men.”
“So women have a hold on a guy and can lead him around by the ring in his nose.”
“Wow. A lot of different opinions here. No wonder the government cannot make a stand on anything when it comes to two people who love each other.”
Read enough yet? Pretty comforting to know that most people, including those who cite the Bible, are merely guessing and hoping they have the right answer, huh? No, not at all... This is what happens when a “Christian” nation worships the Bible rather than the very One who created it. We are left with no further explanation in anything than “Because the Bible says so.” We lose sight of the very character and promises of God that are written down in it. And this is what happens when so many serve no God at all. We lose all purpose. We are left with only our observations and consequences to determine anything, no ideals or tangible, coherent reasons really exist. And why is it that no one bothers to ask such difficult questions? We do not think about such things because it is difficult to think about, for to think might mean we have to change our minds, and to change our minds might mean we have to change our hearts, and to change our hearts might mean we have to change our behavior, and to do all of this might mean that we would have to admit we were wrong and *gasp* admit that God is right and that we might actually NEED Him to accomplish any ideal at all.
You know what, though? Despite all evidence to the contrary, we do have hope. We do not have to follow in failure’s footsteps. Instead of following in the footsteps of our parents' generation and our own generation, let us in turn follow in the footsteps of He who has never failed at all, of He who has set and met the ideal, of He who renews our strength day by day through the power of the Spirit and whose blood has cleansed us, restored us to Him, and made us new. Let us say “I am able because God is able. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Yes, it’s true. We can actually have an ideal marriage, but not without difficulty. As G.K. Chesterton says, “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried.” It is actually possible, but alas, we’ll go more into that in the next post…
How do I know this is so? Because I see it in the church. I see it in the schools. I see it in my own friends and family. I see it in myself. From the time we were born, we have most likely been taught not to question. We are taught that this is the way things are, and they are that way because someone says they are. You can ask how, when, where, and who, but don’t you dare ask why. Kid: Why should I clean my room? Parent: Because I said so. Kid: Why does 2 + 2 = 4? Teacher: Because it just does. Kid: Why is stealing wrong? Pastor: Because the Bible says so.
“Why” is a dangerous question. It requires us to think deeply, it requires us to search for answers, and most of all it requires the person we ask to reveal themselves. It requires them to either admit their ignorance, to admit their motives, or to actually take the time to seek and teach understanding. Few are willing to do any of these, including ourselves, and because of this, many of us are left mindlessly pursuing ideals without even knowing the very foundation on which they are built. Just the other day I was discussing marriage with a friend. He was talking about how he had lost all hope in marriage. That he was coming to discover that all the people he thought had good marriages don’t. He wondered how he could possibly fare any better in marriage if even they are barely keeping it together. Upon further discussion, he revealed that he used to think he knew what the purpose of marriage is, but as it turns out he doesn’t. Then, as I attempted to explain what I thought it was, I realized that I barely knew either. How sad. I’ve read countless books on dating and marriage, and I have yet to read one that states plain and simply “This is why God created marriage. This is why it exists. This is why it is good.” Is it just me, or is it pathetic that so little of us even bother to ask such a question before we begin pursuing marriage, or in some cases give up on pursuing it?
So what, then, is the purpose of marriage? Why should I do it at all? Well, the beautiful thing about asking why in this case, is that I get to ask the one who created it, and when he reveals His reasons to me He also reveals Himself. He is the one person I can ask who is not ignorant, not lazy, and does not have impure motives. This is gonna be good. :) But before I post about what God’s purposes are (which will indeed be my next post), as He has revealed them to me thus far, I want to share with you what the world’s purposes are. I searched several forums that asked the same question and was greatly saddened that no one even remotely knew the answer. This is what the world had to say about what the purpose of marriage is:
“It’s been like this for ages and benefits men more than women.......back in the early days of marriage, men would come to villages and steal daughters and make them work on the fields for them, etc. Eventually, this was not tolerated by the fathers of these daughters and sometimes they would run away so it became more civilized.....they would have children so they had labor to work on their fields.
Familia in latin means slave. Did an anthro paper on this.....marriage has always benefitted men more than women.”
“Marriage is just a physical way to 'seal the deal.' It's just for couples to prove their devotion to one another in front of their country and in the eyes of God (depending on whether or not they are religious). The "physical" part of marriage is things like sharing family names and combined finances and assets. Many people may say that marriage is just a piece of paper but it does have a purpose. There is a reason why it is so important to so many people and cultures. The Homosexual society wouldn't be fighting so hard for the right to it if it was not important. Marriage isn't very regarded by people in the 21st century as much as it used to be. It just depends on the kind of person you are and whether you feel that is has a purpose. If a person believes that there is no purpose to marriage it just means that marriage is not a priority for them personally. Finding the purpose in marriage is up to you and your beliefs about love and relationships.”
“It's different for different people and for people in different roles. For me, personally, my marriage is about stating to friends, family, and the world, my commitment to my wife.
The church got involved with marriage a few centuries back as a way of getting more control over people. Governments followed suit as they separated more from the church. I recently read a theory that one of the benefits of marriage to a society is that it gives men a reason to succeed With a wife and kids at home, they're given a drive to get up every morning and go to work. They note that societies which have followed this pattern have advanced quickly where others have not. As you might imagine, some people get royally pissed off by this theory.”
“I really dont know !!!!!!!!!!!”
“The purpose of marriage is to completely fudge yourself over in life.”
“For 2 separate people, (Man & Women) to become 1 in Gods eyes. This way when you create children they are not Bastards. Before I get screamed at for saying that. Look it up. A Bastard is a Child born to a woman who is not Married.”
“Originally, to claim your woman and to make sure that no single guy gets a chance to have all the women and have them shared equally. Kinda like a socialist safety net, except with women counting as property. Then the feminists came and tried making it so that no one would own anyone. Since that failed, the only way to bring equality would be to make it so that the woman would simultaneously claim and own her man as he did her. So now both the man and the woman own each other, which is how equality works. Basically it’s a safety net so that no one ends up being all alone and has a sex partner here and there.”
“To ruin a man's life. People marry because they believe they are "in love" and it is the right thing to do. But look at the divorce rates, it is not love, it is lust and natural instinct to mate. Only true love is between a child and a parent, that is REAL and unconditional. Humans are mammals, we are meant to breed and move on, but society doesn't deem this appropriate.”
“It’s bullsh*t, marriage…I think people should be happy just living together and not having the whole wedding and husband thing...wish i knew that before i got married..but some cultures you cannot live with someone (hence why i got married)..but it’s over now and won't do it again :)”
“Marriage seals a relationship. Safeguards it and secures it. Marriage is very important if you wish to lead a healthy and a faithful life. Why? Because there would always be someone you would have by your side.”
“My guess would be to set up a secure environment for raising children. Plus it is also a rite of passage that sticks in the memories of all the family for decades to come.”
“Traditionally, so that men would have to provide for the children they fathered. Today, it makes no sense to me. I doubt I'll ever marry.”
“So you can be on health insurance plans? ...otherwise it is just a custom, you can live together your whole life and be just as happy, that little piece of paper just entitles you to certain things.”
“To be with the one u love forever, sharing special moments with them and having their company and love all the time. To start a family and begin a life together. Becoming one!”
“idk. happiness, family, home, kids.”
“The purpose of marriage is to bind one another together in love. To help each other perfect themselves and stay on the path that will lead them to the most happiness. However, I think the main purpose of marriage is to have children and raise them up in a loving environment and teach them correct principles and prepare them for the world of tomorrow to start the same cycle. This quest will be done no better than with man and woman working side by side. Women have qualities and roles that man cannot fill. Nor can women fill the qualities and roles that men have. Hense why it's important to have one of each, a man and a woman.”
“For sex.”
“It's different for different people. Some people just want the financial benefits of marriage (joint taxes, health insurance, living wills, etc) and some people want the feel of a "cohesive family unit" when they have kids.”
“Marriage has a number of purposes. The fundamental purpose is to encourage stable family building. Human beings, in their formative stages, respond best to a situation in which there are adult role-models of each gender demonstrating warmth and affection. Marriage is also a legal contract which obligates the two parties to share their material wealth and debts , to file joint income taxes and to provide for any offspring which may result. Marriage is also one of the rites of passage in most religious traditions; the others being birth, adulthood and death. These days, marriage has become primarily an excuse to throw a party, be the centre of attention and receive gifts.”
“Mental cruelty.”
“I think the purpose of marriage is to officialize what the two of you know or feel is a solid relationship. I personally don't think marriage is necessary.”
“I believe that the purpose of marriage is to reinforce the fact that a single person is entitled to all of your love, devotion, and protection. That this person is not only your best friend, but someone who can touch your life in a way that no other could. Someone you would want to be next to even if you could not walk or speak.”
“I will not say ‘Making Love each day and night’ coz this is not the purpose of love.
The true purpose is to fulfill our needs!!!”
“I believe in the Biblical meaning of marriage.
Matthew 19:4-6 states:
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
The passage above refers to Genesis 2:22-24
Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
And before anyone gets going on same-sex marriage, I believe that interdependent partners should all have the same legal rights (opposite-sex couples, same-sex couples, or interdependent relationships such as a person caring for an elderly parent).”
“Practically: Insurance. Superstitiously: Commitment.”
“I don't think anyone knows the answer to that!”
“Taxes? So it's ok with your church to have sex?
I guess some people want to formally say 'I love you', some one loves me. Some one loves me enough to spend money to buy me a clear rock and some yellow metal. Make themselves feel wanted. I don't know. I know that I expect my girlfriend to be faithful but we can do that without being married. Hey, I'm sorry. I'm being a hypocrite. I wear a ring.”
“To openly unify a man and woman in the eyes of god and the community.”
“To enslave men.”
“So women have a hold on a guy and can lead him around by the ring in his nose.”
“Wow. A lot of different opinions here. No wonder the government cannot make a stand on anything when it comes to two people who love each other.”
Read enough yet? Pretty comforting to know that most people, including those who cite the Bible, are merely guessing and hoping they have the right answer, huh? No, not at all... This is what happens when a “Christian” nation worships the Bible rather than the very One who created it. We are left with no further explanation in anything than “Because the Bible says so.” We lose sight of the very character and promises of God that are written down in it. And this is what happens when so many serve no God at all. We lose all purpose. We are left with only our observations and consequences to determine anything, no ideals or tangible, coherent reasons really exist. And why is it that no one bothers to ask such difficult questions? We do not think about such things because it is difficult to think about, for to think might mean we have to change our minds, and to change our minds might mean we have to change our hearts, and to change our hearts might mean we have to change our behavior, and to do all of this might mean that we would have to admit we were wrong and *gasp* admit that God is right and that we might actually NEED Him to accomplish any ideal at all.
You know what, though? Despite all evidence to the contrary, we do have hope. We do not have to follow in failure’s footsteps. Instead of following in the footsteps of our parents' generation and our own generation, let us in turn follow in the footsteps of He who has never failed at all, of He who has set and met the ideal, of He who renews our strength day by day through the power of the Spirit and whose blood has cleansed us, restored us to Him, and made us new. Let us say “I am able because God is able. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Yes, it’s true. We can actually have an ideal marriage, but not without difficulty. As G.K. Chesterton says, “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried.” It is actually possible, but alas, we’ll go more into that in the next post…
Monday, June 6, 2011
I Read Blog Posts That Don't Even Exist Yet
These hipster dinosaurs are perhaps one of my favorite internet finds. My greatest regret is that I didn't think to draw them myself! Now, don't get me wrong, I don't dislike hipsters, but I do find these absolutely hilarious. And I hope you do too. If you just end up confused because you don't know what a hipster is...no worries. Just go here for a definition. :-) Enjoy!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Life Is Cute
I don't want ALL of my posts on this blog to be serious, so today I'll share with you some videos that I myself would classify as "heart-meltingly adorable." Some of you may not know this, but I'm slightly addicted to YouTube, so these videos are just a small fraction of the cuteness that I have on YouTube reserve. It's my smile ammo, for those days or moments when I just need a reminder of the many blessings God's given us on this earth. Yes, much of this "ammo" involves cats, but that's beside the point. :-) Anyways, I hope these vids make you smile like I do when I see 'em! And if ever you need a joyful moment, remember these things...
Exhibit A: Children
Exhibit B: Cuddly Kittens
Exhibit C: Slooooooooths
Exhibit A: Children
Exhibit B: Cuddly Kittens
Exhibit C: Slooooooooths
Friday, May 20, 2011
Resources, Resources, Resources!
Sex, Youth, Homelessness, & The City Of Wichita
This is not a happy post. Nor is it a fun post. By the time you read this there will probably not even be a hint of a smile left on your face, and I fully intend to leave anyone who reads this post with a convicted and saddened heart. Why will your heart be saddened? Why would I aim for such a thing? Because I also fully intend to force anyone who reads this to come face to face with reality. So if you would rather turn away and continue to live in a comfortable and happy fantasy world where you can continue to deceive yourself into believing that the world, the country, and the very city that you live in isn’t that bad off and that you are by nature a good person and have fulfilled your obligations to the community by donating a little bit of money here and there during the holidays, then leave now. Go back to perusing facebook. Go back to watching T.V. Go back to your video games and parties. This post is not for the faint of heart. It is only for those who can handle the truth.
This story begins right here in our very city: Wichita, Kansas. Smack dab in the middle of the Bible Belt. Right in the midst of middle class America. A city packed full of right-wing, church-going, Christian conservatives. And yet somehow, a city where approximately 600 people also reside every year, void of the basic necessities of food and shelter. Don’t believe me? Just take a midnight stroll down by the river and see for yourself. Last night some friends and I walked right past a group of five people gathered under a bridge, four asleep on the ground covered with blankets, another standing in the corner by himself, gazing at us as we walked past, expecting nothing else from us than to do just that. And the saddest part…is that we did just that. As I walked past I thought about how I’d like to help them. I thought about how I wish I had had cash on me to give to them. I thought about how I should at least stop to talk to them and see if they needed anything. I thought about how I could at least go buy some food for them. And yet I continued walking, because for me to have done any of these things would have required sacrifice. I would have had to distract myself from the fun that I was having with the sadness of reality, and let’s face it…reality just isn’t very enjoyable. Could I have stopped what I was doing to acknowledge them? Could I have learned their names and heard their stories? Could I have gone back to my car, driven to a fast food place, and bought them food? Absolutely. But I did not. And I know that I am not alone in my failure to act, because their very presence on the street last night was evidence of an apathetic city who has daily done just the same.
And yet do you know what the real travesty here is? It is not just the fact that these people are on the streets, but more so the fact that we fellow human beings have rid ourselves of our responsibility to care for them. We cry out for the poor and victimized in our politics, yet the only time we rouse our hands and feet to action is when we head to a voting station and cast our ballot for the newest representative who has promised “change.” Then, of course, when the politician we voted for still fails to make the poor richer (or more realistically so, has failed to make us richer) and still fails to keep the homeless out of our sight and out of our minds as we do indeed clearly wish them to be, we simply cry out against these “lying” politicians and demand new policies that are sure to take care of the problem. After all, surely the solution lies with the government. Surely the best way to care for the poor is to bicker back and forth in Congress, in our city councils, on Fox News and CNN, on Facebook and Twitter and in our blogs and newspaper forums about the failures and successes of the government to care for the poor. Surely this bickering will magically build a roof above their heads, put food in their mouths, and put money in their pockets. Surely.
Dear friends, I welcome you to reality. A world where in order for the poor to have money in their pockets, we must first take money out of ours. A world where in order for the hungry to be fed, we must first physically supply them with food. A world where in order for the homeless to have shelter, we must give them a secure place to comfortably rest their heads. A world where in order for the downcast to rise from the ashes, they must first be given hope. You may not particularly like this reality, but it is in fact what is true. And no matter what belief you hold about the poor and your responsibility to them, no matter what excuses you are currently forming in your head to rid yourself from such responsibilities, I’m telling you here and now that reality is not going to magically adapt itself to fit the stereotypes, excuses, and lies that are currently filling your head to justify your lack of action.
“I don’t have the money” you say? Then I ask you, do you not have the ability to sell any of the possessions you currently have? Do you not have the ability to give food from your pantry or clothes from your closet? Do you not have the ability to sacrifice the money you would have spent on Starbucks, designer clothes, the latest movies, expensive restaurants, and fancy vacations for their sake? Can you truly not sacrifice any of your luxuries for their necessities? If you truly don’t have the money, then do you at least have the time? Do you have the time to volunteer in your community? Do you have the time to work in a soup kitchen, to mentor a child at the Wichita Children’s Home, to deliver sandwiches to a man on the streets? Can you sacrifice an hour spent watching your favorite TV show or 6 straight hours spent playing video games for the sake of another human being? Do you have the time to get to know those who suffer? Do you have the willpower to recognize their value and worth? Do you care to love them at all?
Would it help if I told you that it is not just grown men and women on our streets struggling to survive, but children, teens, and young adults too? Would it spur you to action if I told you that at seventeen years of age, teens who were already initially put into the foster care system due to abandonment and abuse are forced out of the foster care system and are again made vulnerable to the very same things that landed them there? Would it hurt your heart to know that these teens are unable to seek refuge in any local homeless shelters due to a required minimum entry age of 21? On average the Wichita Children’s Home itself only has two to three available beds for these youth, forcing hundreds of youth each year to literally fend for themselves on the streets, leaving many of them exposed to none other than the horrific trade of human trafficking. Truly, these runaways and outcasts are deceived by social piranhas intent on destroying them, who dehumanize them and treat them as commodities. Take this to heart:
“Professionals serving on the Anti-Sexual Exploitation Roundtable for Community Action suggest that 300-400 Wichita youth are at-risk of sexual exploitation each year. To demonstrate this, of 250 youth interviewed at the Wichita Children’s Home between 2007 and 2008, sixty-seven percent reported they had been sexually assaulted or raped; forty-six percent had been asked to strip, go on a date or provide sexual favors in exchange for food, shelter, money or drugs; and forty percent reported that they had “agreed” or had been forced or manipulated to exchange sexual favors for food, shelter, money or drugs. Thus, once pursued, 100 of the 250 young people interviewed were forced, frauded, or coerced into sexual exploitation. This is only including the youth we know about, the children who survived and were lucky enough to make it into safe shelter.” (Quote taken from here.)
We are in the top five of originating cities in the U.S. for sexual exploitation, meaning that traffickers come here, seek out the vulnerable youth in our city, and take them elsewhere to sexually exploit them. This business is often more profitable than even the drug trade, for with drugs, you can only sell the product once. With young children and teens, however, you can sell them for sex again and again and again, acquiring hundreds of thousands of dollars a year per child. And in the process, you can break their spirit and devalue them so much that they will no longer even have the desire to fight back. They indeed become your slave. This is what is taking place in our city. This is what is happening to our---or at least someone’s---sons and daughters, nieces and nephews, grandchildren, students, friends, and neighbors. This is heartbreaking, and we must not merely sit back, read about it, and think “That’s too bad. I’m sure someone will help.” No. We must take the initiative and act. I am asking each and every one of you to offer either your money, your time, or your very home to reach out to these youth. Offer your church, school, or business as a donation or fundraising site. Volunteer at the Wichita Children’s home, offering yourself as a mentor, tutor, babysitter, or just a general helping hand. Offer your creativity and vision to the cause through your own efforts or by joining those like Jennifer White here.
And here…here is where I am on the verge of making a suggestion that many will not enjoy, because I am about to ask much of you. I am about to ask much of the church particularly. It is a concept that many will deem ridiculous and unsafe, but as I say this I ask you to remember that the very God whom we serve has Himself loved us ridiculously and unsafely. Here is what I must ask of you: to take these children, teens, and young adults into your very homes, offering them food, clothing, shelter, safety, security, love and affection. If there are those on the streets without even the basic need of shelter, why do we so easily assume it to be the obligation of a temporary and capacity-limited homeless shelter or orphanage to care for them? Why are we not offering them our own homes? It is understandable if some genuinely do not have room for them, and it is maybe even understandable for those who are concerned for the safety of their children, but what about the safety of these children? And for those of us with even just one empty room, how is it that we have deemed the junk that fills that room to be more worthy of shelter than a man, woman, or child living on the streets? This very matter is the difference between the postmodern church of today and the early church of the New Testament. The early church didn’t just give the poor, the orphaned, or the widowed a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a sandwich and wish them good luck on the streets. They literally took them into their homes. They didn’t just provide the basic necessities of food, clothing, and shelter, but the basic necessities of love, security, and family as well. They expressed to those who were deemed the “undeserving” of society the undeserved sacrificial love which Christ Himself has expressed to us. Unlike us, they actually took the Word of God seriously, for it says:
Deut. 15:7. If there is a poor man among you, one of your brothers, in any of the towns of the land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand to your poor brother; but you shall freely open your hand to him, and generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks.
1 John 3:17. But whoever has the world's goods, and beholds his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?
Acts 2:44. All those who had believed were together, and had all things in common; and they began to sell their property and possessions, and share them with all, as anyone might have need.
Mt. 25:31-46. "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. And all the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats; He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on His left. Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite you in, or naked, and clothe You? And when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' And the King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.' Then they themselves will also answer, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?' Then He will answer them, saying, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.' And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."
I know I am asking much, but I believe it is the duty of the church to take in these young ones, at least for a little while. I know it is risky, I know it will be difficult and messy, and I know that many of us deem ourselves unfit for such a task. Yet I also believe that God uses the weak to shame the strong, and I believe that we the church are able because we serve a God who is able. Let us be the heart and hands and feet of Jesus to those who are in need in our communities. Let us do what He has done for us, not so that He will approve of us---for He already does---but so that the love of Christ will become evident to a world that does not know Him. Let us do this so that others will come to know this incredible God whom we deem worthy to serve even to the extent of sacrificing our very comfortable lives in order to do so. If you are able, I ask you to prayerfully consider either entering the foster care system, particularly making your home available to those aged between 13 and 17 years of age or at least providing your home for some sort of emergency contact list as the need for shelter for these young people arises. If you are interested in helping in any way at all, please do not hesitate to contact me. I understand that many of you are not able to extravagantly give, but even just a little bit of your time or money makes a difference. And I recognize that many of you reading this are probably already involved in some sort of ministry or volunteer work, and I do not dare to ask you to add even more to an already burdensome load. I at least ask anyone reading this to pray for the homeless, orphaned, abandoned, and abused of this city. It is the very least any of us can do.
This story begins right here in our very city: Wichita, Kansas. Smack dab in the middle of the Bible Belt. Right in the midst of middle class America. A city packed full of right-wing, church-going, Christian conservatives. And yet somehow, a city where approximately 600 people also reside every year, void of the basic necessities of food and shelter. Don’t believe me? Just take a midnight stroll down by the river and see for yourself. Last night some friends and I walked right past a group of five people gathered under a bridge, four asleep on the ground covered with blankets, another standing in the corner by himself, gazing at us as we walked past, expecting nothing else from us than to do just that. And the saddest part…is that we did just that. As I walked past I thought about how I’d like to help them. I thought about how I wish I had had cash on me to give to them. I thought about how I should at least stop to talk to them and see if they needed anything. I thought about how I could at least go buy some food for them. And yet I continued walking, because for me to have done any of these things would have required sacrifice. I would have had to distract myself from the fun that I was having with the sadness of reality, and let’s face it…reality just isn’t very enjoyable. Could I have stopped what I was doing to acknowledge them? Could I have learned their names and heard their stories? Could I have gone back to my car, driven to a fast food place, and bought them food? Absolutely. But I did not. And I know that I am not alone in my failure to act, because their very presence on the street last night was evidence of an apathetic city who has daily done just the same.
And yet do you know what the real travesty here is? It is not just the fact that these people are on the streets, but more so the fact that we fellow human beings have rid ourselves of our responsibility to care for them. We cry out for the poor and victimized in our politics, yet the only time we rouse our hands and feet to action is when we head to a voting station and cast our ballot for the newest representative who has promised “change.” Then, of course, when the politician we voted for still fails to make the poor richer (or more realistically so, has failed to make us richer) and still fails to keep the homeless out of our sight and out of our minds as we do indeed clearly wish them to be, we simply cry out against these “lying” politicians and demand new policies that are sure to take care of the problem. After all, surely the solution lies with the government. Surely the best way to care for the poor is to bicker back and forth in Congress, in our city councils, on Fox News and CNN, on Facebook and Twitter and in our blogs and newspaper forums about the failures and successes of the government to care for the poor. Surely this bickering will magically build a roof above their heads, put food in their mouths, and put money in their pockets. Surely.
Dear friends, I welcome you to reality. A world where in order for the poor to have money in their pockets, we must first take money out of ours. A world where in order for the hungry to be fed, we must first physically supply them with food. A world where in order for the homeless to have shelter, we must give them a secure place to comfortably rest their heads. A world where in order for the downcast to rise from the ashes, they must first be given hope. You may not particularly like this reality, but it is in fact what is true. And no matter what belief you hold about the poor and your responsibility to them, no matter what excuses you are currently forming in your head to rid yourself from such responsibilities, I’m telling you here and now that reality is not going to magically adapt itself to fit the stereotypes, excuses, and lies that are currently filling your head to justify your lack of action.
“I don’t have the money” you say? Then I ask you, do you not have the ability to sell any of the possessions you currently have? Do you not have the ability to give food from your pantry or clothes from your closet? Do you not have the ability to sacrifice the money you would have spent on Starbucks, designer clothes, the latest movies, expensive restaurants, and fancy vacations for their sake? Can you truly not sacrifice any of your luxuries for their necessities? If you truly don’t have the money, then do you at least have the time? Do you have the time to volunteer in your community? Do you have the time to work in a soup kitchen, to mentor a child at the Wichita Children’s Home, to deliver sandwiches to a man on the streets? Can you sacrifice an hour spent watching your favorite TV show or 6 straight hours spent playing video games for the sake of another human being? Do you have the time to get to know those who suffer? Do you have the willpower to recognize their value and worth? Do you care to love them at all?
Would it help if I told you that it is not just grown men and women on our streets struggling to survive, but children, teens, and young adults too? Would it spur you to action if I told you that at seventeen years of age, teens who were already initially put into the foster care system due to abandonment and abuse are forced out of the foster care system and are again made vulnerable to the very same things that landed them there? Would it hurt your heart to know that these teens are unable to seek refuge in any local homeless shelters due to a required minimum entry age of 21? On average the Wichita Children’s Home itself only has two to three available beds for these youth, forcing hundreds of youth each year to literally fend for themselves on the streets, leaving many of them exposed to none other than the horrific trade of human trafficking. Truly, these runaways and outcasts are deceived by social piranhas intent on destroying them, who dehumanize them and treat them as commodities. Take this to heart:
“Professionals serving on the Anti-Sexual Exploitation Roundtable for Community Action suggest that 300-400 Wichita youth are at-risk of sexual exploitation each year. To demonstrate this, of 250 youth interviewed at the Wichita Children’s Home between 2007 and 2008, sixty-seven percent reported they had been sexually assaulted or raped; forty-six percent had been asked to strip, go on a date or provide sexual favors in exchange for food, shelter, money or drugs; and forty percent reported that they had “agreed” or had been forced or manipulated to exchange sexual favors for food, shelter, money or drugs. Thus, once pursued, 100 of the 250 young people interviewed were forced, frauded, or coerced into sexual exploitation. This is only including the youth we know about, the children who survived and were lucky enough to make it into safe shelter.” (Quote taken from here.)
We are in the top five of originating cities in the U.S. for sexual exploitation, meaning that traffickers come here, seek out the vulnerable youth in our city, and take them elsewhere to sexually exploit them. This business is often more profitable than even the drug trade, for with drugs, you can only sell the product once. With young children and teens, however, you can sell them for sex again and again and again, acquiring hundreds of thousands of dollars a year per child. And in the process, you can break their spirit and devalue them so much that they will no longer even have the desire to fight back. They indeed become your slave. This is what is taking place in our city. This is what is happening to our---or at least someone’s---sons and daughters, nieces and nephews, grandchildren, students, friends, and neighbors. This is heartbreaking, and we must not merely sit back, read about it, and think “That’s too bad. I’m sure someone will help.” No. We must take the initiative and act. I am asking each and every one of you to offer either your money, your time, or your very home to reach out to these youth. Offer your church, school, or business as a donation or fundraising site. Volunteer at the Wichita Children’s home, offering yourself as a mentor, tutor, babysitter, or just a general helping hand. Offer your creativity and vision to the cause through your own efforts or by joining those like Jennifer White here.
And here…here is where I am on the verge of making a suggestion that many will not enjoy, because I am about to ask much of you. I am about to ask much of the church particularly. It is a concept that many will deem ridiculous and unsafe, but as I say this I ask you to remember that the very God whom we serve has Himself loved us ridiculously and unsafely. Here is what I must ask of you: to take these children, teens, and young adults into your very homes, offering them food, clothing, shelter, safety, security, love and affection. If there are those on the streets without even the basic need of shelter, why do we so easily assume it to be the obligation of a temporary and capacity-limited homeless shelter or orphanage to care for them? Why are we not offering them our own homes? It is understandable if some genuinely do not have room for them, and it is maybe even understandable for those who are concerned for the safety of their children, but what about the safety of these children? And for those of us with even just one empty room, how is it that we have deemed the junk that fills that room to be more worthy of shelter than a man, woman, or child living on the streets? This very matter is the difference between the postmodern church of today and the early church of the New Testament. The early church didn’t just give the poor, the orphaned, or the widowed a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a sandwich and wish them good luck on the streets. They literally took them into their homes. They didn’t just provide the basic necessities of food, clothing, and shelter, but the basic necessities of love, security, and family as well. They expressed to those who were deemed the “undeserving” of society the undeserved sacrificial love which Christ Himself has expressed to us. Unlike us, they actually took the Word of God seriously, for it says:
Deut. 15:7. If there is a poor man among you, one of your brothers, in any of the towns of the land which the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, nor close your hand to your poor brother; but you shall freely open your hand to him, and generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks.
1 John 3:17. But whoever has the world's goods, and beholds his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?
Acts 2:44. All those who had believed were together, and had all things in common; and they began to sell their property and possessions, and share them with all, as anyone might have need.
Mt. 25:31-46. "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. And all the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats; He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on His left. Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite you in, or naked, and clothe You? And when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' And the King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.' Then they themselves will also answer, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?' Then He will answer them, saying, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.' And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."
I know I am asking much, but I believe it is the duty of the church to take in these young ones, at least for a little while. I know it is risky, I know it will be difficult and messy, and I know that many of us deem ourselves unfit for such a task. Yet I also believe that God uses the weak to shame the strong, and I believe that we the church are able because we serve a God who is able. Let us be the heart and hands and feet of Jesus to those who are in need in our communities. Let us do what He has done for us, not so that He will approve of us---for He already does---but so that the love of Christ will become evident to a world that does not know Him. Let us do this so that others will come to know this incredible God whom we deem worthy to serve even to the extent of sacrificing our very comfortable lives in order to do so. If you are able, I ask you to prayerfully consider either entering the foster care system, particularly making your home available to those aged between 13 and 17 years of age or at least providing your home for some sort of emergency contact list as the need for shelter for these young people arises. If you are interested in helping in any way at all, please do not hesitate to contact me. I understand that many of you are not able to extravagantly give, but even just a little bit of your time or money makes a difference. And I recognize that many of you reading this are probably already involved in some sort of ministry or volunteer work, and I do not dare to ask you to add even more to an already burdensome load. I at least ask anyone reading this to pray for the homeless, orphaned, abandoned, and abused of this city. It is the very least any of us can do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
