Today God totally and completely blew my mind. I’ve been studying apologetics pretty hardcore lately. Partly because I’ve been in a friendly debate with a new blogger friend, partly because it’s part of the curriculum we’re teaching in Sunday School, and partly because I just find it intriguing, I’m curious, and I want to strengthen my faith in order that I might be a better witness to those that don’t believe. Anyways, today my mind wandered to the problem of evil. If any argument is the reason for a skeptic’s disbelief of God, or even of His lack of love for all of humanity, this would be the one. In case you’ve never heard the argument, here is the problem of evil:
1. If God exists, then God is omnipotent, omniscient, and morally perfect.
2. If God is omnipotent, then God has the power to eliminate all evil.
3. If God is omniscient, then God knows when evil exists.
4. If God is morally perfect, then God has the desire to eliminate all evil.
5. Evil exists.
6. If evil exists and God exists, then either God doesn't have the power to eliminate all evil, or doesn't know when evil exists, or doesn't have the desire to eliminate all evil.
7. Therefore, God does not exist.
I’ve heard this argument a million times, and if I’m honest it always throws me off guard, because how can I explain away the suffering in the world when I myself don’t fully understand why it exists? The token Christian response to this question is the existence of free will. The loving thing for God to do is to give us a choice to love Him in return. That proves that God can be omnipotent, omniscient, and morally perfect and still allow evil to exist. And although I believe that to be a true statement, the result always seems to be so unsatisfactory. It still makes God seem so…small.
Well, as I was pondering all of this, I also happened to be listening to Josh McDowell speak about the attributes of God. And as I listened to him speak about who God is I suddenly saw the problem of evil in a whole new light. The argument is flawed. It sets God up to be a liar and there is no escape route from the argument in which we can confidently declare that either God exists or that if He does he is not a liar…even with our free will argument. I have never in my life reasoned through the problem of evil and come out with even greater confidence in God than when I started...until today. I think what gave me that confidence today is the realization that the God displayed within the argument is not really the God of the Bible at all. Why do I say this, you ask? Blasphemy, you declare! I know, I know. To say that does sound like complete blasphemy. Of course God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and morally perfect. And I say with full confidence that He is indeed those very things which He claims to be. But here’s my point: He is SO MUCH MORE than just those three things.
If we are to look at the character of God, who does He claim to be? He is holy, loving, just, faithful, eternal, impartial, incomprehensible, jealous, longsuffering, merciful, righteous, true, wise, wrathful, self-sufficient, self-existent, sovereign, transcendent, all-present and immutable IN ADDITION to being all-knowing, all-powerful, and morally perfect. When we look at these attributes we naturally assume that each attribute is a part of what makes Him whole, and yet I don’t think we could be more wrong. God is all of these things fully, and He is all of them at once at all times. If I am to ask you, who is God? You would probably say “God is love,” or maybe “The Creator of the Universe.” Those are probably the only two answers that the majority of us would give, yet such answers do not even begin to describe who God is. Is it not possible then, for God to be ALL these things, for evil to exist, and for Him to still never have acted in contradiction to His character because He is ALL of these things? God is so much BIGGER and GREATER than we can even fathom, and we are so tiny and limited and unrighteous, so why is it that when we don’t understand something the first thing we do is jump to the conclusion that God is a liar when it would only make more sense to assume that perhaps we are the ones who are wrong about who He is?
In all of this thinking, I know there are bound to be holes in my argument. And I know that while I am on this earth all my questions will not be answered, but I will keep asking because I know that my God will always speak for Himself and prove Himself true. And now I rejoice because in questioning I have only come to discover that God is even greater than I had ever thought before. And this greatness---God’s very character and nature---it all became evident in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, when in His mercy, faithfulness, holiness, power, sovereignty, patience, impartiality, jealousy, self-sufficience, knowledge, and all-encompassing love, He carried out justice and poured out His wrath upon Himself so that we might be declared righteous. He who knew no sin became sin for us so that we might become the righteousness of God. Christ Himself is the evidence that both evil and a God who claims to be all that He is can coexist.
So if you want to diminish God with limiting arguments, go right ahead, but I tell you here and now that the kind of God who you are imagining would allow evil to exist is no comparison in greatness to who God actually is.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
The Absolute Truth
The argument for absolute truth has always been one that’s intrigued me, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately as my eyes have been opened to the cultural shift that's been upon us over the past few decades. It’s never ceased to amaze me the amount of people who believe that truth is relative or that it can not necessarily be known at all. I think it would be safe to assume that most Americans travel to the beat of their own drum. What is right for me isn’t necessarily what’s right for someone else. I suppose the easiest examples of this from our culture to use are sex outside of marriage, homosexuality, and abortion. Most Americans would come out and say that if someone wants to engage in any of these acts that it’s okay, because they’re doing what feels right to them, and who are any of us to tell them that what they’re doing is wrong? So basically, with this argument, most people are saying without realizing it that right and wrong are determined on an individual basis. A vast amount of people live by this philosophy and so few seem to realize the arrogance of it. If I am to believe that I can essentially do what I want when I want and that I don’t have to answer to anyone other than myself for what I do, have I not in all reality elevated myself to the same level as a god?
Now some may say that they’re not so selfish to say that they do what they want when they want it. There are still rules to be followed. A few rules may be thrown into their moral beliefs to say that what you do is right as long it doesn’t harm anyone else. But what exactly are the boundaries of what harm is? Is it just physical harm? Emotional harm? Is consentual sex outside of marriage okay since you’re not physically harming one another? What if someone feels used and worthless afterwards? Have you then harmed them? What if a person doesn’t feel hurt until you break up with them months or years later and they realized that they gave themselves away to someone that stopped caring about them? What if one couple has sex outside of marriage and never regrets it and another couple does the same thing and does regret it…was it then right for one couple yet wrong for another? And with all this said, if it’s okay to do what you want as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else, is it then okay to harm yourself? Does that mean suicide, cutting, and eating disorders are right? They’re not harming anyone else, so with that thinking it must be okay. And yet, it clearly isn’t.
So what then do we determine we can base our morality upon if we ourselves do not determine it? Perhaps our government or our culture? Well, that would almost seem logical, if indeed our government and culture were reliable when it came to morality. Unfortunately, our laws and our culture are constantly changing. The things that many, including the government, say to be permissible now…such as the previous examples of homosexuality or abortion (sorry, the topics are just easy targets)…were not permissible by law nor culturally acceptable just a mere half century ago. So were these things wrong then but are right now? How can this be? And why does the government, an institution made up of individual people like me and you, have the right to determine this? Now if we are to turn to culture rather than government to determine our morality, then we are in the same dilemma, especially since governments are typically a reflection of cultural beliefs. Cultures everywhere across the globe have repealed laws against sodomy in the last 50 years: Germany, Hungary, Australia, Israel, Russia, Thailand, the U.S., the U.K. and many more. Does this mean that sodomy has always been right and we as cultures, governments, and individuals up until the last fifty years have been completely wrong? Does this mean that cultures such as Malaysia, South Korea, and India which still have anti-sodomy laws in place are now wrong in this matter though they would have previously been seen as right?
I think it’s pretty clear that when it comes to morality, we are not merely accountable to ourselves, nor are we merely accountable to our neighbors, governments, or cultural standards. Just as culture is constantly changing and shifting, so I too as an individual am in a constant state of change. It’s silly and even narcissistic to think that I myself could determine my own morality when I myself am so often proved to be wrong, and it’s just as silly to think that a culture could even determine morality when it so constantly flip-flops on its laws, opinions, and beliefs. So what does this mean then? Who are we then accountable to? Is there even such a thing as morality or truth, and if there is, can we ever really know it? Well, if the answer is that we are accountable to no one and that there is no such thing as morality, or even that there is but we can’t know it, then we might as well just all go jump off a cliff because there’s no point to anything. There’s no point in creating rules nor obeying them, there’s no point in restraining yourself from things like murder or stealing or lying or general selfishness because they might not even be wrong. There’s probably no point in loving one another or doing good deeds. How can you even know, really? So you might as well do what you want when you want it, right?
Well, you can take that stance, as some do. Or there is another option. Perhaps there really is such a thing as absolute morality. Perhaps truth does exist. Perhaps we can even know it. And perhaps there is really a higher power outside of ourselves to whom we are accountable. In the end, it’s the only thing that really makes sense, isn’t it? Because seriously, if I am ultimately my own higher power and determiner of what is right and wrong in my own life, then I would highly advise everyone around me to run for their lives, because I know my own heart and I know the many limitations of my own mind (Yes, tis true, I don’t know EVERYTHING…or much at all in the grand scheme of things), so trust me…I am not someone that anyone would want to determine something as important as morality. And quite honestly, I don’t want any other flawed human being telling me what morality is and isn’t either when they themselves have a limited knowledge and a heart that has committed many wrongs. Isn’t it far better in the grand scheme of things then for someone who is perfect and utterly holy to determine what is right and wrong, and to hold all of humanity accountable for their actions rather than leave them to themselves…especially when we are so clearly in need of salvation from the wrongs we have committed?
I myself firmly believe that absolute truth does exist, that we can know it, that God has already made it known to us, and that we are accountable to God for both our thoughts and actions. I’m interested, though, in what everyone else thinks. Are these plausible arguments? Does Scripture back it up? Does human nature or history back it up? Are there any plausible arguments by which relativism could in turn be truth? Really, I just want people to stop and think for a second. We get so caught up in daily tasks and in absorbing entertainment that we never take the time to contemplate the things that really matter…the basic beliefs we hold that in the end really are a matter of life or death. These underlying beliefs will either lead us toward the Gospel or away from it, so it seems that absolute truth is a good place to start. And for those of us who do believe in absolute truth, particularly those of us who are proclaimed followers of Christ, we must ask ourselves if there are perhaps beliefs that we still hold in which we have made them relative to our own judgement. We must recognize whether or not we are thinking backwards in that we are rejecting teachings of the Bible because they do not fit what we think or feel is true rather than rejecting our own beliefs because they are not aligned to God's truth. Because if the Bible is truly God’s word, and if it is absolute truth, then as it is said in Romans 12:2---Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. THEN you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. Something to think about…
Now some may say that they’re not so selfish to say that they do what they want when they want it. There are still rules to be followed. A few rules may be thrown into their moral beliefs to say that what you do is right as long it doesn’t harm anyone else. But what exactly are the boundaries of what harm is? Is it just physical harm? Emotional harm? Is consentual sex outside of marriage okay since you’re not physically harming one another? What if someone feels used and worthless afterwards? Have you then harmed them? What if a person doesn’t feel hurt until you break up with them months or years later and they realized that they gave themselves away to someone that stopped caring about them? What if one couple has sex outside of marriage and never regrets it and another couple does the same thing and does regret it…was it then right for one couple yet wrong for another? And with all this said, if it’s okay to do what you want as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else, is it then okay to harm yourself? Does that mean suicide, cutting, and eating disorders are right? They’re not harming anyone else, so with that thinking it must be okay. And yet, it clearly isn’t.
So what then do we determine we can base our morality upon if we ourselves do not determine it? Perhaps our government or our culture? Well, that would almost seem logical, if indeed our government and culture were reliable when it came to morality. Unfortunately, our laws and our culture are constantly changing. The things that many, including the government, say to be permissible now…such as the previous examples of homosexuality or abortion (sorry, the topics are just easy targets)…were not permissible by law nor culturally acceptable just a mere half century ago. So were these things wrong then but are right now? How can this be? And why does the government, an institution made up of individual people like me and you, have the right to determine this? Now if we are to turn to culture rather than government to determine our morality, then we are in the same dilemma, especially since governments are typically a reflection of cultural beliefs. Cultures everywhere across the globe have repealed laws against sodomy in the last 50 years: Germany, Hungary, Australia, Israel, Russia, Thailand, the U.S., the U.K. and many more. Does this mean that sodomy has always been right and we as cultures, governments, and individuals up until the last fifty years have been completely wrong? Does this mean that cultures such as Malaysia, South Korea, and India which still have anti-sodomy laws in place are now wrong in this matter though they would have previously been seen as right?
I think it’s pretty clear that when it comes to morality, we are not merely accountable to ourselves, nor are we merely accountable to our neighbors, governments, or cultural standards. Just as culture is constantly changing and shifting, so I too as an individual am in a constant state of change. It’s silly and even narcissistic to think that I myself could determine my own morality when I myself am so often proved to be wrong, and it’s just as silly to think that a culture could even determine morality when it so constantly flip-flops on its laws, opinions, and beliefs. So what does this mean then? Who are we then accountable to? Is there even such a thing as morality or truth, and if there is, can we ever really know it? Well, if the answer is that we are accountable to no one and that there is no such thing as morality, or even that there is but we can’t know it, then we might as well just all go jump off a cliff because there’s no point to anything. There’s no point in creating rules nor obeying them, there’s no point in restraining yourself from things like murder or stealing or lying or general selfishness because they might not even be wrong. There’s probably no point in loving one another or doing good deeds. How can you even know, really? So you might as well do what you want when you want it, right?
Well, you can take that stance, as some do. Or there is another option. Perhaps there really is such a thing as absolute morality. Perhaps truth does exist. Perhaps we can even know it. And perhaps there is really a higher power outside of ourselves to whom we are accountable. In the end, it’s the only thing that really makes sense, isn’t it? Because seriously, if I am ultimately my own higher power and determiner of what is right and wrong in my own life, then I would highly advise everyone around me to run for their lives, because I know my own heart and I know the many limitations of my own mind (Yes, tis true, I don’t know EVERYTHING…or much at all in the grand scheme of things), so trust me…I am not someone that anyone would want to determine something as important as morality. And quite honestly, I don’t want any other flawed human being telling me what morality is and isn’t either when they themselves have a limited knowledge and a heart that has committed many wrongs. Isn’t it far better in the grand scheme of things then for someone who is perfect and utterly holy to determine what is right and wrong, and to hold all of humanity accountable for their actions rather than leave them to themselves…especially when we are so clearly in need of salvation from the wrongs we have committed?
I myself firmly believe that absolute truth does exist, that we can know it, that God has already made it known to us, and that we are accountable to God for both our thoughts and actions. I’m interested, though, in what everyone else thinks. Are these plausible arguments? Does Scripture back it up? Does human nature or history back it up? Are there any plausible arguments by which relativism could in turn be truth? Really, I just want people to stop and think for a second. We get so caught up in daily tasks and in absorbing entertainment that we never take the time to contemplate the things that really matter…the basic beliefs we hold that in the end really are a matter of life or death. These underlying beliefs will either lead us toward the Gospel or away from it, so it seems that absolute truth is a good place to start. And for those of us who do believe in absolute truth, particularly those of us who are proclaimed followers of Christ, we must ask ourselves if there are perhaps beliefs that we still hold in which we have made them relative to our own judgement. We must recognize whether or not we are thinking backwards in that we are rejecting teachings of the Bible because they do not fit what we think or feel is true rather than rejecting our own beliefs because they are not aligned to God's truth. Because if the Bible is truly God’s word, and if it is absolute truth, then as it is said in Romans 12:2---Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. THEN you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. Something to think about…
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Hey, A Girl Can Still Dream...
One of my youth group girls shared a link to this on Facebook today and I fell instantly in love. It seems that Alfred Angelo has designed a line of Disney-inspired wedding gowns. My question is, how is it that no one's ever thought to do this before? If I were even remotely artistic and could actually sew, I would have designed these things by the time I was 12. They're gorgeous! You may be thinking..."didn't you just write eleventy billion posts on singlehood? And now you're posting about wedding dresses?" In my defense...I'm a girl. I also happen to be a lover of all things Disney, and I also do very much so like pretty dresses. Put those things together and voila, perfection!
I seem to be in wedding mode lately, because this Sunday I will also be attending the Wichita Wedding Ideas Bridal Show. The very same 7th grader who shared the dresses, whom I shall refer to as "M" (No relation to the James Bond "M"), has expressed a desire to attend this glorious event, so I'll be going as "Georgia Peach": Undercover Bride. So while "M" browses, I'll be doing some detective work of my own, working to expose the dark side of the wedding industry. Black market flowers, wedding favor drug smuggling, bride trafficking, the notorious CCLU (Crazy Cat Ladies United) mobsters bound and determined to destroy the wedding industry...you know the jive. I do declare, though, I simply can not wait to reveal all the details of how my beloved Prince Charming extravagantly proposed during our trip abroad in France, in which he lowered himself to his knee atop the Eiffel Tower while I gazed down upon the city to see the words "Will You Marry Me" scrawled out in lights hundreds of feet below me. Isn't my pretend fiance just so romantic? ;-)
Anyways, let's play a game. First one to name all of the Disney Princesses represented in the pictures above in the right order wins a prize. What that prize is, I don't know. Maybe an Orange Leaf date, or a zoo trip, or something sent to you in the mail. Just rest assured that the prize will be cool and I will follow through. Oh, and NO CHEATING (a.k.a. googling or clicking the link provided beforehand), or ELSE. Yes, that's right. I just might give the police an anonymous tip about the CCLU and some "wedding favors" recently discovered in your home...
I seem to be in wedding mode lately, because this Sunday I will also be attending the Wichita Wedding Ideas Bridal Show. The very same 7th grader who shared the dresses, whom I shall refer to as "M" (No relation to the James Bond "M"), has expressed a desire to attend this glorious event, so I'll be going as "Georgia Peach": Undercover Bride. So while "M" browses, I'll be doing some detective work of my own, working to expose the dark side of the wedding industry. Black market flowers, wedding favor drug smuggling, bride trafficking, the notorious CCLU (Crazy Cat Ladies United) mobsters bound and determined to destroy the wedding industry...you know the jive. I do declare, though, I simply can not wait to reveal all the details of how my beloved Prince Charming extravagantly proposed during our trip abroad in France, in which he lowered himself to his knee atop the Eiffel Tower while I gazed down upon the city to see the words "Will You Marry Me" scrawled out in lights hundreds of feet below me. Isn't my pretend fiance just so romantic? ;-)
Anyways, let's play a game. First one to name all of the Disney Princesses represented in the pictures above in the right order wins a prize. What that prize is, I don't know. Maybe an Orange Leaf date, or a zoo trip, or something sent to you in the mail. Just rest assured that the prize will be cool and I will follow through. Oh, and NO CHEATING (a.k.a. googling or clicking the link provided beforehand), or ELSE. Yes, that's right. I just might give the police an anonymous tip about the CCLU and some "wedding favors" recently discovered in your home...
Friday, April 1, 2011
Secure In Jesus
In keeping with the singlehood theme, I've been reading "The Hiding Place" and found myself wondering why it is that Corrie Ten Boom, another hero of mine, never married. Google yielded some wonderful results in my search, and I simply have to share what I found. Written here is an excerpt from her book "Tramp For The Lord." I had no idea this book existed, but judging by the awesome title and incredible testimony of the author, this is definitely going to be read by me at some point within the next few months. I read this excerpt and nearly found myself in tears. She speaks with such wisdom and grace, and I'm so thankful to have stumbled upon this because it's such an encouragement. I don't know whether or not I'm called to marry at this point, but I do know that I don't want to live a life of worry about it, nor do I want it to be the focus of my life. I am first and foremost called to glorify God, so I think I'll just go about doing that where I'm at right now. And in the meantime, I'll tell my desire to marry to God and either let Him change my desire or surprise me with someone really special when I least expect it. I hope you're able to find the same encouragement that I did in this post. Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~"SECURE IN JESUS"~~~~~~~~~~~~
--written by Corrie Ten Boom with Jamie Buckingham--
It is Satan who tries, in every way, to spoil the peace and joy that God's servants have in their work.
Ellen, my new traveling companion, had gone with me to a lonely mission field in Mexico. Our hostess was a lady missionary, unmarried, in her forties.
One evening while we were alone in her little adobe, she confessed her bitterness and resentment over being unmarried. "Why have I been denied the love of a husband, children, and a home? Why is it that the only men who ever paid any attention to me were married to someone else?" Long into the night she poured out the poison of her frustration. At last she asked me, "Why did you never marry?"
"Because," I said, "the Lord had other plans for me than married life."
"Did you ever fall in love and lose someone, as I have?" she asked bitterly.
"Yes," I said sadly. "I know the pain of a broken heart."
"But you were strong, weren't you," she said in biting tones. "You were willing to let God have His way in your life?"
"Oh, no, not at first," I said. "I had to fight a battle over it. I was twenty-three. I loved a boy and believed he loved me. But I had no money and he married a rich girl. After they were married he brought her to me and putting her hand in mine said, 'I hope you two will be friends.' I wanted to scream. She looked so sweet, so secure and content in his love.
"But I did have Jesus, and eventually I went to Him and prayed, 'Lord Jesus, You know that I belong to You 100 percent. My sex life is yours also. I don't know what plans You have for my life, but Lord, whatever it may be, use me to realize Your victory in every detail. I believe You can take away all my frustrations and feelings of unhappiness. I surrender anew my whole life to You.'"
I looked across the little table at the bitter woman in front of me. Her face was furrowed, her eyes hard with resentment. I sensed she had been trying to run away from her frustrations. Perhaps that was even the reason she was on the mission field. Sadly, there are some of God's children who go to the mission field to escape the pain of not having a husband. I know others, back home, who spend every evening away from their families, attending Christian meetings, because they are unhappy and frustrated in their marriages. Work-even mission work- can become a wrong hiding place.
"Those called by God to live single lives are always happy in that state," I said. "This happiness, this contentment, is the evidence of God's plan."
"But you loved and lost," she exclaimed. "Do you believe that God took away your lover to make you follow Him?"
"Oh, no, I smiled. "God does not take away from us. He might ask us to turn our backs on something, or someone, we should not have. God never takes away; however, God gives. If I reach out and take someone for myself and the Lord steps in between, that does not mean God takes. Rather it means He is protecting us from someone we should not have because He has a far greater purpose for our lives."
We sat for long minutes in the semidark room. Only a small kerosene lamp gave its flickering light, casting faint shadows on the walls and across our faces. I thought back-remembering. I had always been content in the Lord. Back when I was in my thirties God gave me children-the children of missionaries-whom I raised. Betsie, my sister, fed and clothed them while I was responsible for their sports and music. We kept them in our home in Holland, and I found deep satisfaction in seeing them grow to maturity. I also spent a great deal of time speaking and sharing in various clubs for girls. But it was not the work that brought balance to my life, for work cannot balance our feelings. It was because my life was centered in the Lord Jesus that I had balance.
Many people try to lose their feelings in work, or sports, or music, or the arts. But the feelings are always there and will eventually, as they had done tonight in this missionary, come boiling to the surface and express their resentment and discontent.
I turned to Ellen, my companion. Ellen is a tall, blond, beautiful Dutch girl then in her early thirties. She is single, yet she has learned the secret of living a balanced life. While I believe God set me apart before I was born, to live a single life, Ellen was different. She did not feel that God had called her to a single life; rather she felt that one day, in God's time, she would marry. However, until that time arrived-one year or thirty years from then-I knew she was secure in Jesus and was not looking to a husband or children for her security.
I spoke to the missionary. "There are some, like me, who are called to live a single life," I said softly. "For them it is always easy for they are, by their nature, content. Others, like Ellen, are called to prepare for marriage which may come later in life. They, too, are blessed, for God is using the in-between years to teach them that marriage is not the answer to unhappiness. Happiness is found only in a balanced relationship with the Lord Jesus."
"But it is so hard," she said, tears welling up in her eyes.
"That is so," I said. "The cross is always difficult. 'But you are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God' (Colossians 3:3). Dear girl, it cannot be safer. That part of you which would cling to a husband is dead. Now you can move into a life where you can be happy with or without a husband-secure in Jesus alone."
I do not know if she really understood me, for often we set our minds on some one thing we think will make us happy-a husband, children, a particular job, or even a "ministry"-and refuse to open our eyes to God's better way. In fact, some believe so strongly that only this thing can bring happiness, that they reject the Lord Jesus Himself. Happiness is not found in marriage; or work; or ministry; or children. Happiness is found by being secure in Jesus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~"SECURE IN JESUS"~~~~~~~~~~~~
--written by Corrie Ten Boom with Jamie Buckingham--
It is Satan who tries, in every way, to spoil the peace and joy that God's servants have in their work.
Ellen, my new traveling companion, had gone with me to a lonely mission field in Mexico. Our hostess was a lady missionary, unmarried, in her forties.
One evening while we were alone in her little adobe, she confessed her bitterness and resentment over being unmarried. "Why have I been denied the love of a husband, children, and a home? Why is it that the only men who ever paid any attention to me were married to someone else?" Long into the night she poured out the poison of her frustration. At last she asked me, "Why did you never marry?"
"Because," I said, "the Lord had other plans for me than married life."
"Did you ever fall in love and lose someone, as I have?" she asked bitterly.
"Yes," I said sadly. "I know the pain of a broken heart."
"But you were strong, weren't you," she said in biting tones. "You were willing to let God have His way in your life?"
"Oh, no, not at first," I said. "I had to fight a battle over it. I was twenty-three. I loved a boy and believed he loved me. But I had no money and he married a rich girl. After they were married he brought her to me and putting her hand in mine said, 'I hope you two will be friends.' I wanted to scream. She looked so sweet, so secure and content in his love.
"But I did have Jesus, and eventually I went to Him and prayed, 'Lord Jesus, You know that I belong to You 100 percent. My sex life is yours also. I don't know what plans You have for my life, but Lord, whatever it may be, use me to realize Your victory in every detail. I believe You can take away all my frustrations and feelings of unhappiness. I surrender anew my whole life to You.'"
I looked across the little table at the bitter woman in front of me. Her face was furrowed, her eyes hard with resentment. I sensed she had been trying to run away from her frustrations. Perhaps that was even the reason she was on the mission field. Sadly, there are some of God's children who go to the mission field to escape the pain of not having a husband. I know others, back home, who spend every evening away from their families, attending Christian meetings, because they are unhappy and frustrated in their marriages. Work-even mission work- can become a wrong hiding place.
"Those called by God to live single lives are always happy in that state," I said. "This happiness, this contentment, is the evidence of God's plan."
"But you loved and lost," she exclaimed. "Do you believe that God took away your lover to make you follow Him?"
"Oh, no, I smiled. "God does not take away from us. He might ask us to turn our backs on something, or someone, we should not have. God never takes away; however, God gives. If I reach out and take someone for myself and the Lord steps in between, that does not mean God takes. Rather it means He is protecting us from someone we should not have because He has a far greater purpose for our lives."
We sat for long minutes in the semidark room. Only a small kerosene lamp gave its flickering light, casting faint shadows on the walls and across our faces. I thought back-remembering. I had always been content in the Lord. Back when I was in my thirties God gave me children-the children of missionaries-whom I raised. Betsie, my sister, fed and clothed them while I was responsible for their sports and music. We kept them in our home in Holland, and I found deep satisfaction in seeing them grow to maturity. I also spent a great deal of time speaking and sharing in various clubs for girls. But it was not the work that brought balance to my life, for work cannot balance our feelings. It was because my life was centered in the Lord Jesus that I had balance.
Many people try to lose their feelings in work, or sports, or music, or the arts. But the feelings are always there and will eventually, as they had done tonight in this missionary, come boiling to the surface and express their resentment and discontent.
I turned to Ellen, my companion. Ellen is a tall, blond, beautiful Dutch girl then in her early thirties. She is single, yet she has learned the secret of living a balanced life. While I believe God set me apart before I was born, to live a single life, Ellen was different. She did not feel that God had called her to a single life; rather she felt that one day, in God's time, she would marry. However, until that time arrived-one year or thirty years from then-I knew she was secure in Jesus and was not looking to a husband or children for her security.
I spoke to the missionary. "There are some, like me, who are called to live a single life," I said softly. "For them it is always easy for they are, by their nature, content. Others, like Ellen, are called to prepare for marriage which may come later in life. They, too, are blessed, for God is using the in-between years to teach them that marriage is not the answer to unhappiness. Happiness is found only in a balanced relationship with the Lord Jesus."
"But it is so hard," she said, tears welling up in her eyes.
"That is so," I said. "The cross is always difficult. 'But you are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God' (Colossians 3:3). Dear girl, it cannot be safer. That part of you which would cling to a husband is dead. Now you can move into a life where you can be happy with or without a husband-secure in Jesus alone."
I do not know if she really understood me, for often we set our minds on some one thing we think will make us happy-a husband, children, a particular job, or even a "ministry"-and refuse to open our eyes to God's better way. In fact, some believe so strongly that only this thing can bring happiness, that they reject the Lord Jesus Himself. Happiness is not found in marriage; or work; or ministry; or children. Happiness is found by being secure in Jesus.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
All The Single Ladies...And Gents
Sometimes when we pray and ask for help, we end up having to wait what seems like a lifetime for some semblance of an answer. Other times, we end up not having to wait at all. I cherish those times when God answers immediately, and yesterday was one of those days. As you can tell by my last post, I’ve been struggling to find contentment in being single. The question I keep asking is HOW. I know why I should do it, I know when I should do it (um, now, obviously), but HOW? I prayed this simple prayer, and immediately God seems to have said “Oh, you wanna know how? Okay, I’ll teach you how. Here ya go.”
And in comes June Hunt. June Hunt is my hero. She’s the founder of Hope For The Heart and has a couple call-in Christian radio talk shows that I listen to online quite often. I can speak for both my brother and myself when I say that God has already used her immensely to speak truth into our lives and point us toward Christ. Yes, David and I are probably the only two people under the age of 50 that listen to the show, but trust me, we don’t care. In fact, you’ll probably hear the both of us unknowingly humming the show’s theme song on a daily basis. And in case David ever tells you about her incredible talkshow “Hope Is Where the Heart Is," don’t google it because that’s not what it’s called. It’s “Hope For The Heart.” Sometimes he gets confused…
Anyways, last week I decided to order one of June’s books entitled “Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook.” I wanted to use the section on self-worth to use for some curriculum I’ve been teaching to my Sunday School girls. So I read over the section again and again, but guess what came after the section entitled “self-worth.” Well, it was actually sexual addiction. Then sexual integrity. BUT after that, it was SINGLENESS. When I saw it, it was as if a heavenly light was shining down on the pages before me. ‘Tis a miracle! No one ever offers counseling on singleness. But it only makes sense that June Hunt would, because the woman is nearly in her nineties and has never married. Yes, it’s true, there is actually a person offering advice and hope on singleness that has actually spent a lifetime being content in singleness. Like I said…tis a miracle!
This woman is so amazing that she actually used an acrostic to give wisdom on how to be content. I love acrostics. Soooo, I thought I’d share it on here, because I know I’m not the only one who can benefit from this, and I know that there are other people struggling with the same things I am. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind at all, even if I am somehow unknowingly breaking some copyright law. Here’s what she had to say about HOW to be C-O-N-T-E-N-T with singleness...
Confess the difficulty. Admit...
...if you are discontented, angry, frustrated, lonely
...if you desire to marry
...God's right to order your life
(Jer. 10:23)
Overcome the "greener grass" mentality. Marriage does not...
...cure loneliness
...provide self-worth
...cure depression
...provide security
(Phil. 4:19)
Nourish a heart of gratefulness. Be thankful for the freedom...
...to attain your own aspirations
...to take risks
...to use your time as you need
...to be mobile
...to have greater control over financial planning
...to nurture several deep relationships
...to lean completely on the Lord
...to serve the Lord in any way
...to be spontaneous
...to be yourself
(1 Thess. 5: 16-18)
Treasure your identity in Christ. Remember that...
...you belong to God (Rom. 8:16)
...you are never alone (Deut. 31:8)
...you have all the confidence you need (Prov. 3:26)
...you have the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16)
...you have a purpose in life (Ps. 138:8)
Expect God to give you a ministry. You can...
...learn your spiritual gift
...love others with agape love (seeking other people's highest good)
...learn the art of encouraging others
...look for ways to meet the needs of others
(Rom. 12: 4-17)
Nurture a family of friends. You can...
...be open to several significant relationships
...be free in sharing your true thoughts and feelings ...be interested in your friends' interests
...be compassionate about your friends' concerns
(Prov. 13:20; 17:17)
Trust your future to God. As you do so...
...lay down your emotions---feelings follow thinking, so learn to think the way God thinks through studying and memorizing Scripture.
...lay down your will---give up having to have things your way. Instead, seek God's will.
...lay down your expectations---allow the Holy Spirit to direct your aspirations.
(1 Jn. 3:16; Mt. 6:33)
And there ya have it. Proof that God is faithful and good. Thank you, Jesus, for creating June Hunt and her ministry, and for using her to point us to you. :-) If you're struggling with this, I hope you'll take the time to meditate on what she has to say and more importantly on what God has to say in the Scriptures she's provided. That's what I plan on doing. I'll let you know how it goes. You should let me know how it goes too. :-)
And in comes June Hunt. June Hunt is my hero. She’s the founder of Hope For The Heart and has a couple call-in Christian radio talk shows that I listen to online quite often. I can speak for both my brother and myself when I say that God has already used her immensely to speak truth into our lives and point us toward Christ. Yes, David and I are probably the only two people under the age of 50 that listen to the show, but trust me, we don’t care. In fact, you’ll probably hear the both of us unknowingly humming the show’s theme song on a daily basis. And in case David ever tells you about her incredible talkshow “Hope Is Where the Heart Is," don’t google it because that’s not what it’s called. It’s “Hope For The Heart.” Sometimes he gets confused…
Anyways, last week I decided to order one of June’s books entitled “Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook.” I wanted to use the section on self-worth to use for some curriculum I’ve been teaching to my Sunday School girls. So I read over the section again and again, but guess what came after the section entitled “self-worth.” Well, it was actually sexual addiction. Then sexual integrity. BUT after that, it was SINGLENESS. When I saw it, it was as if a heavenly light was shining down on the pages before me. ‘Tis a miracle! No one ever offers counseling on singleness. But it only makes sense that June Hunt would, because the woman is nearly in her nineties and has never married. Yes, it’s true, there is actually a person offering advice and hope on singleness that has actually spent a lifetime being content in singleness. Like I said…tis a miracle!
This woman is so amazing that she actually used an acrostic to give wisdom on how to be content. I love acrostics. Soooo, I thought I’d share it on here, because I know I’m not the only one who can benefit from this, and I know that there are other people struggling with the same things I am. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind at all, even if I am somehow unknowingly breaking some copyright law. Here’s what she had to say about HOW to be C-O-N-T-E-N-T with singleness...
Confess the difficulty. Admit...
...if you are discontented, angry, frustrated, lonely
...if you desire to marry
...God's right to order your life
(Jer. 10:23)
Overcome the "greener grass" mentality. Marriage does not...
...cure loneliness
...provide self-worth
...cure depression
...provide security
(Phil. 4:19)
Nourish a heart of gratefulness. Be thankful for the freedom...
...to attain your own aspirations
...to take risks
...to use your time as you need
...to be mobile
...to have greater control over financial planning
...to nurture several deep relationships
...to lean completely on the Lord
...to serve the Lord in any way
...to be spontaneous
...to be yourself
(1 Thess. 5: 16-18)
Treasure your identity in Christ. Remember that...
...you belong to God (Rom. 8:16)
...you are never alone (Deut. 31:8)
...you have all the confidence you need (Prov. 3:26)
...you have the mind of Christ (1 Cor. 2:16)
...you have a purpose in life (Ps. 138:8)
Expect God to give you a ministry. You can...
...learn your spiritual gift
...love others with agape love (seeking other people's highest good)
...learn the art of encouraging others
...look for ways to meet the needs of others
(Rom. 12: 4-17)
Nurture a family of friends. You can...
...be open to several significant relationships
...be free in sharing your true thoughts and feelings ...be interested in your friends' interests
...be compassionate about your friends' concerns
(Prov. 13:20; 17:17)
Trust your future to God. As you do so...
...lay down your emotions---feelings follow thinking, so learn to think the way God thinks through studying and memorizing Scripture.
...lay down your will---give up having to have things your way. Instead, seek God's will.
...lay down your expectations---allow the Holy Spirit to direct your aspirations.
(1 Jn. 3:16; Mt. 6:33)
And there ya have it. Proof that God is faithful and good. Thank you, Jesus, for creating June Hunt and her ministry, and for using her to point us to you. :-) If you're struggling with this, I hope you'll take the time to meditate on what she has to say and more importantly on what God has to say in the Scriptures she's provided. That's what I plan on doing. I'll let you know how it goes. You should let me know how it goes too. :-)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The Woes Of Being Single
One of the most frustrating things about being single is the command to be content in it. I can’t tell you how many times people have offered the advice to wait patiently and be content in your singleness thinking that the suggestion would somehow bring comfort to me. Really, though, it’s just become another cliché slogan that people like to pull out of their reserves because they don’t know what else to say. If you’re going to tell me to be content, then could you at least tell me what that actually means, and how to go about doing it? Could you give me an example of someone who actually is content? Because truly, most of the people who give me this advice have never actually had to be content with singleness. Most of them are married or dating, and have never spent more than a few months of their lives since the 7th grade as a single person without any romantic interests. So where does that leave the rest of us who have spent the majority of our lives single? And how do we deal with the fact that we are growing frustrated with the wait? Most of the time it feels like life is just passing us by. Our friends are getting married and having babies, and we are getting left behind because we’ve lost our common ground. We try and make single friends, but well, they end up getting married and having babies too. So who’s left to relate to? Our grandparent’s generation got married at 16, our parent’s generation at 20, and our generation at 22…so really, who can actually understand what it’s like to have to wait so long and be content in it?
Now most of you might stop me and say, “Hey, wait a minute. Isn’t the average marrying age in America 26? You’re only 25…what are you even complaining about?” To that I would say, “Have you ever lived in Kansas? Have you been in the Christian communities here? The average marrying age would be 12 if the law would allow it.” And as for the average age of 26, let’s be real…most of the people in that statistic have already enjoyed MANY of the benefits that God created for marriage far before ever being married: Sex, cohabitation, children, etc. Trying to follow Christ and live a godly life in a world that does not acknowledge Christ or care about the commands that he’s given is HARD, and as a single person it's REALLY HARD and it gets pretty lonely at times. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only virgin on the face of this planet. Yes, it’s true. I’m a 25 year-old virgin. I don’t say this with pride, yet I don’t say it with shame either. I say it knowing that I have only been able to remain pure by the grace of God, and I say it knowing all too well the struggle it is to remain pure in a world that has no boundaries for sexuality and views being a virgin more as pathetic than as virtuous and desirable. So where does this all leave me? Exactly where I’m at. Unwilling to sacrifice my purity for the sake of a good time and unwilling to marry just any man for the sake of being married. Frustrated with the wait, unsure of whether or not God is ever going to give me the precious gift of marriage, feeling trapped in the place where I’m at in life. And yet at the same time, still pursuing Christ, letting him mold me into a godly woman, serving where I can, hoping that God will use this incredibly difficult stage in my life to encourage others and point them to Christ. Have I mentioned how hard this all is?
So with all this said, this is where I’m at. It has its ups, it has its downs. Looking at it from an earthly perspective it probably seems pointless and hopeless---like I really am going to end up a crazy cat lady spinster---but looking at it from an eternal perspective I know that what God has in store for me is far greater than what I have in store for me, and waaaaaaaay better than what the world has in store for me. The struggle is just all part of God’s beautiful plan to use me and my circumstances to glorify Him, and hopefully bring others to Him. And though at times it seems like wickedness in the world pays off far more than holiness, I know that the “happiness” and “fun” (That's code for sin---mostly sex---in case you missed it) that every other single person my age is enjoying is really only destroying them. I don't envy them by any means, because I know that what I have is better. I have Christ...and the sacrifice He made for me and redemption He has given me is of far greater value than a few meaningless relationships and one-night stands.
So now I'm left pondering this: What if my plan for my life isn't God’s plan for my life? What if my desire to marry and have children isn’t God’s desire for me? What then? And in the meantime, while I’m trying to “be content” and figure my life out, what do I do with these verses?
"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Corinthians 7:8)
"Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. 29What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. 32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. 36If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better." (1 Corinthians 7: 25-38)
Because when I read this, all I think is "Crap. This is going to ruin my life and all the plans I've had for myself." But in the end, maybe that's the point...
Now most of you might stop me and say, “Hey, wait a minute. Isn’t the average marrying age in America 26? You’re only 25…what are you even complaining about?” To that I would say, “Have you ever lived in Kansas? Have you been in the Christian communities here? The average marrying age would be 12 if the law would allow it.” And as for the average age of 26, let’s be real…most of the people in that statistic have already enjoyed MANY of the benefits that God created for marriage far before ever being married: Sex, cohabitation, children, etc. Trying to follow Christ and live a godly life in a world that does not acknowledge Christ or care about the commands that he’s given is HARD, and as a single person it's REALLY HARD and it gets pretty lonely at times. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only virgin on the face of this planet. Yes, it’s true. I’m a 25 year-old virgin. I don’t say this with pride, yet I don’t say it with shame either. I say it knowing that I have only been able to remain pure by the grace of God, and I say it knowing all too well the struggle it is to remain pure in a world that has no boundaries for sexuality and views being a virgin more as pathetic than as virtuous and desirable. So where does this all leave me? Exactly where I’m at. Unwilling to sacrifice my purity for the sake of a good time and unwilling to marry just any man for the sake of being married. Frustrated with the wait, unsure of whether or not God is ever going to give me the precious gift of marriage, feeling trapped in the place where I’m at in life. And yet at the same time, still pursuing Christ, letting him mold me into a godly woman, serving where I can, hoping that God will use this incredibly difficult stage in my life to encourage others and point them to Christ. Have I mentioned how hard this all is?
So with all this said, this is where I’m at. It has its ups, it has its downs. Looking at it from an earthly perspective it probably seems pointless and hopeless---like I really am going to end up a crazy cat lady spinster---but looking at it from an eternal perspective I know that what God has in store for me is far greater than what I have in store for me, and waaaaaaaay better than what the world has in store for me. The struggle is just all part of God’s beautiful plan to use me and my circumstances to glorify Him, and hopefully bring others to Him. And though at times it seems like wickedness in the world pays off far more than holiness, I know that the “happiness” and “fun” (That's code for sin---mostly sex---in case you missed it) that every other single person my age is enjoying is really only destroying them. I don't envy them by any means, because I know that what I have is better. I have Christ...and the sacrifice He made for me and redemption He has given me is of far greater value than a few meaningless relationships and one-night stands.
So now I'm left pondering this: What if my plan for my life isn't God’s plan for my life? What if my desire to marry and have children isn’t God’s desire for me? What then? And in the meantime, while I’m trying to “be content” and figure my life out, what do I do with these verses?
"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." (1 Corinthians 7:8)
"Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. 29What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. 32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. 36If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better." (1 Corinthians 7: 25-38)
Because when I read this, all I think is "Crap. This is going to ruin my life and all the plans I've had for myself." But in the end, maybe that's the point...
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Matryoshka Madness
I am absolutely obsessed with matryoshka dolls right now. I love, Love, LOVE them, and I love that they're becoming more popular around the Internet. I seriously spend time googling and browsing Amazon to see if some new adorable find has somehow popped up under my nose, and if it's cute enough and of course reasonably priced, I typically find a way to buy it. :-) Therefore, instead of letting my Internet scrounging go to waste, I thought I'd share some of my adorable finds with you, just in case I'm not the only one who loves the darling little babushkas. Have fun getting sucked into the madness!
Where To Find It: (Because I HATE when people post pictures and don't leave links)
MatryoshKEYS. Amazon. $9.53
Where To Find It: (Because I HATE when people post pictures and don't leave links)
MatryoshKEYS. Amazon. $9.53
Matryoshka Deco Tape. Kawaii For You. $4.95
Masha And Friends Stationary Set. ModCloth. $12.99
Letters To A Little Lady Stationary Set. ModCloth. $23.99A Petite Pinch Of Pepper Mill. ModCloth. $37.99
Nesting Doll Ear Buds. ModCloth. $14.99
Dolled Up Drinks Ice Cube Tray. ModCloth. $9.99
Little Ladies Clip Set. ModCloth.$6.99
Matryoshka Measuring Cups. Urban Outfitters. $12.00
Matryoshka Measuring Spoons. Urban Outfitters. $8.00
Red Matryoshka Insulated Lunch Bag. Kawaii For You. $24.95 Never A Doll Moment Lunch Bag. ModCloth. $18.99
Red Matryoshka Bento Box. Sugar Charms. $17.99
Bento Onigiri Case. Sugar Charms. $17.99 Matryoshka Doll Single Bento Box. J Flair. $11.99
Matryoshka Tea For Two Set. Urban Outfitters. $48.00Sugar Booger Mini Bib Gift Set. Amazon. $12.50
Nesting Dolls Vinyl Wall Decals. Etsy. $16.00
From Russia With Love E-Book Sleeve. Etsy. $17.00
Matryoshka Silk Pillow. Thomas Paul. $70.00P.S. If you sew, check out some of the cute fabrics you can buy here. A little pricey, but simply adorable!
P.S.S. Sorry about the messed up formatting. I'm just too lazy to fix it.
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